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Jul 3, 2008

Notes from Captain Obvious...

Commando does not hold up well. At all. Don't believe me? Watch this:



I don't know about you, but my favorite parts were the ice cream face and the killer soundtrack. Granted, it does fare much better later on when the action (and one-liners) gets going, but that intro was painfully bad. Dan Hedaya hamming it up as deposed dictator Arius later on isn't much better.

Commando was released in 1985, one year after The Terminator.


15 people have chosen wisely: on "Notes from Captain Obvious..."

Ric Burke said...

Oh, that's brilliant.

Seriously, that's made my day.

I thought I was going to burst something when they started feeding the deer.

Adam Ross said...

Three additional words on why it doesn't hold up:

Rae. Dawn. Chong.

Nic Cage said...

I love that movie. One-liner heaven!

THN said...

The video stopped when they were feeding the deer. Like YouTube said, "Nope, we don't believe this crap."

Fletch said...

Luckily, those credits are probably the worst part of the movie. That said, outside of being one of the originators/leaders of the "so cheesy it's great" one liners, I can't agree with anyone that thinks Commando is a good movie. Had it been done by a more capable director, perhaps (like John McTiernan, possibly?), but as it is...no.

Though I don't blame Rae Dawn Chong. She does fine with what she's given.

Anonymous said...

This movie should be remembered for 1 liners. Lot of cool ones

Unknown said...

For my money, PREDATOR is still Arnold's best film. I remember seeing it in the theater when it came out and thinking that this might be the first film where Arnold has actually met his match. Plus, it rivals even COMMANDO for the amount of memorable one-liners.

"Stick around."

Fletch said...

I'm probably with you, J.D. Predator is fantastic (I wrote a love letter to it some months back); Total Recall and T2 are probably next in line for me. Way down at the bottom is The 6th Day and that pregnancy one - whatever the hell it was called. Junior?

Unknown said...

Yeah, JUNIOR. I have always held the belief that Arnold's worst film to date is JINGLE ALL THE WAY. *shudder*

Paul Arrand Rodgers said...

"Don't wake my friend. He's dead tired."

There is no such thing as a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. I'll show you. I'll show ALL of you.

Fletch said...

You do that, Paul.

Would you like to start with Hercules in New York or with Junior or with Eraser or with The 6th Day or with End of Days or with...

That dead tired line is probably the best in Commando, though. Arnold really sells it...

Paul Arrand Rodgers said...

I love 6th Day...I can't explain why, but it probably has to do with the whole "Why don't you clone yourself" bit.

I'm a sucker for Ahnold though. We'll see how it goes once I'm done seeing all of them, Herc in NY included (he fights a man in a bear suit in Central Park. It CAN'T be bad).

Fletch said...

"You...bear....bear f*cker! Do you need assistance?"



(Sorry...that just reminded me of Super Troopers...)

Paul Arrand Rodgers said...

I'm going to go on an Arnold spree this month, hitting up everything I can (minus Dr. Dolittle 2 for obvious reasons), and I'll get back to you on the ones that suck.

Red Sonja and Conan 2 are at the top of the list of possibilities.

I watch Commando 2-3 times a year. Jeph Loeb (the writer of the movie) now writes insane comics where everything explodes, so he was obviously built for Arnold.

Fletch said...

Can't wait to see the results, Paul.

I had no idea Arnold did a voice for Doolittle 2. Guess I skimmed over it on his resume, too. Weird. Oh, and after having seen most of The Rundown multiple times, I finally saw the opening minutes with Arnold's cameo. I was disappointed with how cameo-ish it was. Two words? Boo.