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Jan 10, 2008

TGITDNMAR (1/11/08)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

The movies listed below don't deserve a proper introduction, so I'm not going to waste my time or yours by even bothering to make excuses. Let's just pretend this never happened, okay?

First Sunday
Ice Cube has had nothing if not an interesting acting career, full of highs and lows. Unfortunately, as of late, it's filled with lows, from the somewhat-successful-but-just-awful-looking Are We There Yet? (and its sequel) to the ill-advised Friday sequels, the man seems to have lost his mojo. Where's David O. Russell (Three Kings) when you need him?
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 8%

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
I highly recommend watching this trailer a.s.a.p. (links for Apple's trailer site and for IMDb are on the right). I almost have to see this (though not in the theater, mind you), as it appears to be an outright disaster. How else to describe a movie featuring Burt Reynolds as a medieval-era king? The rest of the cast is equally vexing: Ray Liotta as some sort of henchman, Claire Forlani (she of Mallrats and Meet Joe Black; also she who needs glasses badly), Matthew Lillard. Only Jason Statham and Leelee Sobieski seem like they belong in renaissance times.

Did I forget to mention that this is a Uwe Boll flick? Now, I can't really talk bad about the guy, seeing as how I've never seen his work, but let's just say his reputation ain't exactly pristine (a Google search for "Uwe Boll bad movie" brings up 700k+ hits). I'll pass, but I'm dying to see this on cable...
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 2%

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie

Music to my ears right there. I've been waiting for the next VeggieTales movie since...oh wait, that's right - I haven't been. Why is this getting a theatrical release, exactly? Was there a demand for more movies featuring animated tomatoes preaching morals to toddlers? I guess it's just not my week...
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: -6000%


15 people have chosen wisely: on "TGITDNMAR (1/11/08)"

Nick said...

Are you like... a day ahead of us here? Or have you always done this on Thursdays and I'm just slow on the uptake?

Anyway... any weekend that releases a Uwe Boll movie is a bad one. That man is our generation's Ed Wood, except that Ed Wood could be so bad it was funny. Uwe Boll is just bad. And he thinks he's God's gift to Hollywood. I don't know how that man keeps getting funding. His movies have bombed more than any other's filmmaker's. He's never had one that hasn't.

Fletch said...

I used to always run this on Friday, but then I started doing the Survivor episode recaps, and doing both on Friday was too much, especially since this one can pretty much come out any day of the week.

I just got used to putting it out on Thursdays now; besides, I've got part II of the 20 characters post coming tomorrow.

I don't want to talk too badly about Boll. He might track me down and kick my ass. ;)

Foy said...

So maybe I'm a loser.

But I actually like Veggie Tales.

And yes, I am over the age of 4.

I'm just tired of seeing crude humor proliferating the media. I just want something clean and funny. Aladin did it for me in the early 90's; Veggie tales does it for me now.

Nick said...

foy: But Aladdin is awesome... and if you think that movie doesn't have a dark side, try watching it again. That movie's nuts (but I love it).

Anonymous said...

Oh No Nick! If you're looking for a movie that is "so bad, it's funny" than look no further than "Dungeon Seige" I saw it at a horror film fest, a while back and from the first shot of good ol' Burt on screen - the audience was howling with laughter and even applauded when he finally kicked the bucket after his 15 minute death-bed speech, while a very "pained" looking Jason Statham looks on!

This movie is destined to be a cult classic of vampish badness! Much more fun to see it on a big screen with a bunch of hooting strangers than yelling at your TV screen! IMHO.

Nick said...

That's tempting... but that would mean I would have to give my money to a Uwe Boll movie, which I haven't done since House of the Dead (back when not many people knew better). I'd rather wait than give that man money.

Jason Soto said...

You're probably gonna strip me of my LAMB-dom (or whatever you wanna call it), but Veggie Tales is awesome, at least the Silly Songs are. I don't get too much into the preachy stuff but the songs, including the one this movie is based on, is hilarious.
-Jason

joen05 said...

I actually wanna see In the name of the King... even if Boll made it. But I can see it for free... so that is the benefit in case it's bad. We got Juno, so I might see that one this week too.

Nick said...

You would see a Uwe Boll movie over Juno? For shame!

Fletch said...

You VeggieTales people must have kids - at least I hope you do. ;)

You'll blast me as well, but I've never seen a minute of a VeggieTales production. I'm just giving an educated guess. I could very well be wrong. Though I have seen a few minutes of The Wiggles - that stuff is awful. Hot potato, hot potato...

Yeah, I think In the Name of the King will be a great terrible movie, unlike Eragon, which is just a terrible movie. But I won't be seeing it in the theater.

And Joe, I gotta agree with Nick - free or not, pick Juno over a Uwe Boll flick...

soundtrackgeek said...

First Sunday: Don't think I'll watch that one.

In The Name of the King: Uwe Boll! I can't believe I've seen so many Uwe Boll movies, knowing they are worse than Chipmunks on steroids. Still, the soundtrack might be nice right?

VeggieTales: ...if it ain't Postman Pat, I'm not interested...

Foy said...

Comparing Veggie Tales and The Wiggles is like comparing Lord of the Rings to Eragon.

Ok, so maybe it isn't.


Try watching this Veggie Tales song/video:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tx1pXStX2hE

It is the song from which the movie is based, and is, as jason soto said, hilarious.

Just try it. : )

Fletch said...

I tried. Watched the whole thing. I don't get it. Perhaps I need drugs first?

Foy said...

Nah. I guess you just don't have the taste for it. I'm just one of those guys who is easily entertained. For me, it's hilarious - and maybe that's because I know the personalities of the vegetables.

Yes, now you're thinking that I am on drugs.

Well, seeing that you liked Napoleon Dynamite, or at least the character, I can see that you have no taste in humor anyway. ; )

(No offense intended - seriously. It just proves the fact that we have different tastes in humor.)


Foy

Nick said...

Hey! Don't be hatin on Napoleon Dynamite! That movie is hilarious :P . It just has (incredibly) dry humor, which not a lot of people get. Kinda like The Office (great show).