TGITDNMAR (12/14/07)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

It's mid-December...where is all the Oscar buzz? Where is the mad rush of SERIOUS DRAMAS that comes every year at this time? I mean, I know There Will Be Blood is still coming, and The Kite Runner is amongst this week's releases. The Hanks-Roberts-Hoffman flick Charlie Wilson's War comes to us next week, but that's really about it. I suppose this is why they're re-releasing The Hunting Party to theaters this week - in a year so devoid of serious Oscar contenders, even a little-seen Richard Gere-Terence Howard movie that no one really cared about has a chance.


To say nothing of my favorites, at this point, I'm forecasting the Best Picture nominees to be: No Country for Old Men, Michael Clayton, Ratatouille, and American Gangster, with either Atonement, There Will Be Blood or Into the Wild possibly being the wild card fifth entry. Who are your predictions (again, not favorites)?


I Am Legend
The title just screams "mock me," doesn't it? Will Smith stars as Tom Hanks, with a German Shepherd filling the role of Wilson the volleyball in this remake of Cast Aw-- wait a sec, that ain't right. It only appears to be that way for the first half of the movie; the second half will be filled with humanoid, virus-infected zombie people (or something). Truth is, there probably aren't a ton of cross-appeal stars that you could/would watch act by themselves for an hour, but Will Smith is one of them. Throw in the muscle and the comedy chops, and you've got yourself Tom Hanks crossed with Bruce Willis. No wonder he's a star.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 92%


The Kite Runner
Marc Forster is getting to be quite the big name director. Here, the helmer of Monster's Ball, Finding Neverland and Stranger Than Fiction takes on a best-selling, beloved novel about a pair of star-crossed best friends. Looks weepy, political and topical all at once. I see this being one of those movies that is loved by all who see it, but nobody really cares enough about it to go see it in the first place. Count me in there, too.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 37%


Alvin and the Chipmunks
Yes, I watched (and loved) this as a kid. Saturday mornings just weren't the same without Alvin and the Smurfs. That said, they let the guy that directed Garfield 2 take on this one! (Disclaimer: I have not seen either Garfield movie, nor do I plan on doing so any time soon. Shoot me for blasting it.) Jason Lee takes on the role of Dale (Breckin Meyer wasn't available?!?!), with actually a few good names in comedy filling out some of the other parts: David Cross, Justin Long, and Jane Lynch. There's potential here, I suppose...but I'll still wait until it hits HBO to find out for myself.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 11%


Juno
Speaking of comedy pedigrees, two of Cross' Arrested Development co-stars are featured in the wildly anticipated Juno, in the form of Jason Bateman and Michael Cera. Hard Candy standout Ellen Page stars as the titular Juno in Jason Reitman's follow-up to the excellent Thank You for Smoking. If that weren't enough, spectacular character actor J.K. Simmons, also in Smoking, joins the gang as Juno's dad. The only downside? Jennifer Garner's on board. Boo.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 95%


The Perfect Holiday
Raise your hand if you've seen so much as a commercial or poster for this, not to mention a trailer. I'm guessing not too many hands are raised. Either this isn't being advertised at all, or it's only being so on BET. Weird, considering some of the names involved (Gabrielle Union, Morris Chestnut, Charlie Murphy, Kat Williams and Queen Latifiah). Tells me it's a stinker...
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 1%