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Dec 20, 2007

Fletch's Film Review: The Golden Compass

Stealing a page from the brilliantly simplistic Review in Haiku, I present to you my Golden Compass review in 17 syllables. RIH is so detailed with it's commitment to simplicity that I am awed. There are but five grades (Awesome, Good, Okay, Bad and Awful) given. The post tags don't exceed two - the year (or decade for pre-2000 films) and the grade. The "reviews" are the obvious 17 syllables, a picture and a grade. That's it, every time. Gimmicky? Sure. But it's awesome, and I only wish I had thought of it first. Anyway, here's The Golden Compass:

"Where is double O?
No religion ruckus here
Polar bear fight rocks."

Fletch's Film Rating:

"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."


14 people have chosen wisely: on "Fletch's Film Review: The Golden Compass"

PAZ designs said...

Hey... That is a very innovative way of rating a movie... also very efficient.

Adam said...

I think you might have actually rated this one just a tad too high - it might have been better suited with a "Whatever."

I agree though - it was decent enough I suppose. Meh.

DO ME A FAVOR - when it comes out on DVD Jan. 29th, be sure to check out KING of KONG, it's fantastic.

Rickey Henderson said...

Soooo, you kind of liked it? Rickey hasn't read the books, so really, he's just in it for the sweet sweet polar bear sex scene with the main character.

Robb said...

I know actors do voice over work all the time for lots of movies. So I'm not sure why, but somehow Ian McKellan as the polar bear just seemed depressing to me, like he was slumming it in a kinda embarassing way. I know that doesn't make any logical sense, but that was my gut reaction every single time he said a word.

DCMovieGirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DCMovieGirl said...

Ditto on what Adam said. :-)

Like I said, it had the white folks acting ghetto in the theater.

A recent South Park episode lampoons it (#2).

Fletch said...

adam - I thought it was better than fair. It has its share of issues (though the ending didn't bother me nearly as much as some people; hell, nobody really gripes about the first LOTR ending, and it's pretty much the same), but I thought it was an intriguing story and I'd probably go see the others if they came out.

Will definitely see KoK when I can. It was only showing at one theater in the Phx area, and it was a long drive.

robb - Don't feel bad for Ian - feel bad for Kathy Bates, who voiced Sam Elliott's animal and only had like two lines.

Nick said...

Fletch: What's worse is that they had to ADD those lines for Kathy Bates. I don't think Hester (Sam Elliot's daemon) speaks once in the entire first book. But she speaks a LOT more in the second. I'm sure they did that to prep the audience for the next movie(s). They added quite a few things in this one that weren't in the book (but stemmed from the others) in order to prep the audience for the following. For instance, Fra Pavel (the goofy looking blond dude who tries to poison Asriel at the beginning and speaks to Coulter about the witches)... he's not in the first book at all, but he's introduced later.

NFL Adam said...

Dude, where's your review of the new National Treasure flick with your all-time favorite actor, Nick Cage?

Fletch said...

"Dude, where's your review of the new National Treasure flick with your all-time favorite actor, Nick Cage?"

Send me a check for $50.00 and I'll go see it and review it. That is the price of three hours of my pain (screen + writing time).

David said...

I thought the review was pretty interesting, thanks for that. I did not much care for the movie, but I gave it a decent score because it was pretty well made. I am not sure I would say that it much like LOTR since at least we all knew there would be a second one and it was already in post production. The second in this series could still get canned, but then again after the way it did in theaters I would have to say it unfortunately is likely a second one will come. I think to have an ending like this one you really have to have a better movie leading up to it so that you make people want to see the next one rather than just get mad.

James said...

Ugh, The Golden Compass.

Overall I liked the movie and look forward to more--If they don't get banned by the rising Theocracy that is the USA today.

I am still pissed though that they changed a lot of the Atheist stuff. I'm tired of everyone buckling to one way of thinking, namely Christian.

How dare we Atheists/Nontheists/Agnostics/Secular humanists have a movie of our own!!!

Apparently the Vatican said it is the most "Anti-Christmas film possible." Someone PLEASE tell me what Compass had to do with Christmas???

Fletch said...

James - I couldn't agree with you more.

And here I might have thought that slasher flicks (including, um, murder) like "Black Christmas" or "Silent Night Deadly Night" would have been more anti-Christmas than a film about a girl trying to save her friends. Shows what I know...

Sheamus the... said...

I agree with Adam...

"whatever"