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Nov 8, 2007

Survivor: China - Episode 8 Recap

Coming to you live from Casa de Fletch, it's that most unoriginal of gimmicks, the live blog. That said, I can't say that I've seen it done with this particular show. I'm joined as usual by Mrs. Fletch and our trusty, sleepy pug Scooter. Let the action begin!

7:02: I could watch the Jamie/Idol gaffe over and over again, but alas, it's time for the new episode to start.

7:03: Jean-Robert returns from council somewhat in shock, yet relieved that Jamie's idol was a fake. He shows his humility and appreciation by...hogging the sleeping quarters, not letting Erik on. Way to ingratiate yourself, JR - always looking to get in people's good graces. James asks him if he wants a hug and calls him a dumbass. We're off to a decent start.

7:05: I'm proud to say I've never been a "Dollar Menu-aire." I probably never will be, either. Sorry, McDonalds.

7:06: Raise your hand if you watch Num3ers. No one? Ok, raise your hand if you call it "numthers" like I do. Still no one?

7:08: Whaddaya know, James is providing the fish for everyone and is called a threat by Amanda. Boooo!

7:09: Challenge time already! Why do they merge tribes only to split the people into teams for the challenges? It goes against the whole philosophy. The challenge consists of a few contestants being put in boats while the other team tries to sink them. With an odd number of people, one will be left out, and with the contestants choosing their own tribes, the final two left are Angry Stick Figure and Lunchlady Land. Courtney gets picked as she can sit in the boat and is lighter. Poor Lunchlady Land.

7:13: More surprises! The team with James wins. I'm speechless. I have no speech.

7:16: If possible, I'd like to chart the popularity of "The King" from Burger King from his introduction till now. I'm pretty sure everyone thought he was bizarre and creepy at first, but he's easily one of my favorite mascots these days. You hear me Jack? Where have you been?

7:17: Time for the reward. Wake me when it's over. James, Todd, Amanda and Jean-Robert get to go to a 1,000-year old city. They all get a clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol - JR is the only one that's never seen or heard anything about it, leaving the other three to play REALLY dumb. This is awkward.

7:19: Food is served. Apparently, P.F. Chang's delivers to 1,000-year old cities. By the way, aren't there like a thousand 1,000-year old cities in China?

7:21: Time for the Lunchlady pity party. This is the most words we've heard her say combined.

7:23: More fun than JR not knowing about the Immunity Idol? JR looking for the already gone Immunity Idol. Unbelievably, we could be headed for a double-Jamie, as JR thinks he might have found an idol. This is too much. I don't know if I can take it two weeks in a row.

7:25: Now I'm sad. Just saw a commercial for Ghost Whisperer and Orlando Jones (Office Space, MadTV, the one-time "7-Up Guy") is co-starring alongside J-Love's breasts. I always liked Orlando, and now he's reduced to this? Even Num3ers would have been acceptable.

7:30: Todd is rightfully upset that James hasn't offered to give back one of the two immunity idols. I'd be pissed, too - as much as I like James, he MUST give one back to Todd soon or he'll lose not just the game, but my favor. Todd begins his scheming to get rid of James via a possible sneak attack. Then again, that means James has to lose AN Immunity Challenge for that to happen.

7:32: For today's Immunity Challenge, the tribe mates are propped on a mechanical bull of sorts that is filled with water. It will slowly drain water, and as such, will lose weight and can swivel. Fall off and you lose. This does not bode well for James. It does, however, bode well for Stick Figure, as for the "bull" to move, it would have to have weight on it.

7:34: JR goes first. Denise second. 20 minutes have elapsed. There goes James. No surprises yet.

7:36: Erik is the fourth out, followed by PG. Amanda gets DQ'ed for touching something she wasn't supposed to, and we're left with Frosti, Todd and Stick Figure. Frosti breaks into song, which distracts Todd.

7:37: F*ck. Courtney wins the only challenge she will ever win. Kudos to her for weighing less than a feather.

7:41: I can't say that I really watch the original CSI anymore, but one thing that bugs the hell out of me about the two knockoffs (er, spin-offs) is that every commercial I see for them shows either David Caruso or Gary Sinise running around chasing someone with a gun or something like that. They're "crime scene investigators!" Their job starts after the crime has taken place! Do they even have guns in real life? If so, do they ever use them? I'm dying to know. Please help me here.

7:42: Courtney: "I didn't think I'd ever end up winning anything!" Us either, Courtney.

7:44: JR tells Erik that he has an Immunity Idol. Erik more or less laughs at him and tells him he's off his rocker. Damn, no embarrassing usage of false idols.

7:47: Chaos. No idea who's going home, as it seems no one is on the same page about who to get rid of. Could be James, JR, PG, Erik - anyone. One thing is clear, Courtney hates JR. Just so that I can venture a guess prior to it happening, I'll say that the previous five minutes were all smoke and mirrors and that PG is still going home. I'm telling Mrs. Fletch this as we speak for posterity.

7:50: Talk at Council. Lots of it.

7:52: Courtney is wearing the Immunity Idol necklace as a belt.

7:53: Ok, that was a lie. Still, she could.

7:53: They've shown us three votes - James, PG and JR. Could be interesting.

7:54: Finally, Jeff gives the "If you have the Idol, play it now speech."

7:55: With a score of 5-3-1, JR gets voted out over James and PG. That was scary for James, who could have played one of his idols, but chose not to. A risky, risky move that paid off. With 8 people left and two idols, and with him being destined to win at least 2 more Immunity Challenges, James can basically just win the challenge or play an idol. Can't wait to hear JR's going away speech.

7:57: Ugh. A poker analogy. JR manages to congratulate himself twice, even calling himself the "best player in the game." I can't wait for his question/comment during the final episode.

See you next week! Give me a thumbs up or down on this format if you like. I might be able to take it.

Survivor: China homepage at CBS.com

10 people have chosen wisely: on "Survivor: China - Episode 8 Recap"

Steve said...

Excellent! I missed the final few minutes of Survivor, glad to see JR is gone baby gone!

Sasha said...

I don't see why you hate Cortney, sh'es just been picked on to much all just cos she's a small girl.

Desmond said...

Love the live blog, brotha!

Mrs. Fletch said...

The live blog is a nice touch, even if it does get a little crowded on the sofa with the 2 of us, a laptop, a pug, and the occasional roaming cat.

Rickey Henderson said...

A live blog is always a wise decision. Enjoy Survivor by the way buddy... Thanks to the writer's strike, the next few months is going to harken a golden age for reality television.

DCMovieGirl said...

JR - The best player WINS Survivor.

Courtney - Yeah, she weighs at most 50 pounds, but she won through yoga, not lack of weight.

...Her shit was centered.

James, was a dumbass, he and a couple others either fucked around singing or tried to keep it still with their muscles.

Of course, they got tired and fell.

I thought, I was the only person who loves Orlando Jones. :D

JR getting voted out? 5 votes...
The look on James' face after coming so close to being voted out?

Robb said...

I think it is too funny that we both tried the live blogging in the same week. You, however, did it much better than I did. Everytime I tried to type down a thought I felt I was missing too much, and my analysis suffered.

To me Orlando will always be the 7-Up guy, and I mean that in a good way because those commercials rocked.

And Sasha, I don't hate Courtney because she is thin, I hate her because she is a super-bitch.

Even though J-R was one of my favorite players (not because I liked him, but because I liked that he was playing rather than floating) I still loved this episode.

* (asterisk) said...

It takes all my strength not to read these. A Stateside blogpal sends us VHS tapes of Survivor, since we don't get it here in the UK, so I try to avoid spoilers. Gotta love that show, dude.

Fletch said...

@ dcmoviegirl - Frosti might have been dumb to sing, but James was doing his best to stay on. Though he really never had a chance at that challenge. Yoga or no yoga, the lightest, shortest female had the best chance at winning that challenge.

The look on James' face was hilarious. He took a big, big risk (and one that we'd be blasting him for had he been voted off) not playing an idol.

@ robb - I think you did a fine job. Helping me was the fact that I'm a decent typist, so I could watch and type simultaneously.

@ * - Can't you watch the episodes online??? I'm sure cbs.com shows them for free a day later (I've watched many a show this way, and Mrs. Fletch and I will be catching up on Heroes tonight this way).

* (asterisk) said...

Unfortunately not. "This content is currently unavailable", it tells me. I think it's because it's not licensed for non-domestic (i.e., US) broadcast or something. Bummer.