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Jun 8, 2007

TGITDNMAR (6/8/07)

Time for a new feature here in the Blog Cabins - namely, TGIDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

In this feature, I will go beyond cleverness and simply give you previews of the new releases every week, tossing in numerous snarky comments along the way, to be sure. Short, sweet, and to the point.

At the box office today:

Ocean's Thirteen
In this second sequel to the Rat Pack redux, Clooney, Pitt, and the rest of the gang are joined by 67-year old Al Pacino and 53-year old Ellen Barkin - I can't think of a better way to spruce up the series! All kidding aside, the math doesn't seem to add up: the same 11 ("good guys") from the first film were joined by Julia Roberts in Ocean's Twelve, making her the, well, 12th. Now, Pacino is added, but he's the bad guy so he doesn't count. Meanwhile, Andy Garcia is now a "good guy," so he's #12. Is Ellen Barkin #13? My assumption from the trailers is that she's Pacino's right-hand woman or something. I demand an answer (and will get one soon)
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 100%

Hostel: Part II
Hooray for snuff films! With director Eli Roth's work, combined with the new Captivity and the Saw series, gruesome murder needs no such thing as plot or characters. I guess horror directors have officially run out of ideas and are just cutting straight to the chase these days. I'm the last person to suggest the "evil" effects of violence onscreen, but these films cut out the thrill of "thrills" and instead just try to outgross each other. No thanks.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 0%

Surf's Up

Shia LaBeouf returns to the screen (well, his voice, anyway) as some penguin with a Napoleon Complex trying to be a better surfer than some asshole surfer from back in the day. This looks mildly entertaining, but my Jedi powers sense oversentimentality (though the idea of it being presented in documentary format is novel for an animated picture).
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 50%

La Vie en Rose
If you've read my reviews over time, you know I catch a lot of independent films, as well as a smattering of foreign films. That said, a film about the life of Edith Piaf doesn't really appeal to me. My mother? Perhaps, but not me.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 10%

For this week's estimates, check out BoxOfficeReport.com.

6 people have chosen wisely: on "TGITDNMAR (6/8/07)"

Mres Fletch said...

Mrs. Fletch's Chance of Viewing Surf's Up: 80%

Note: For the sake of accurate reporting, you may want to modify your percentage accordingly.

Mrs Fletch said...

P.S. Mrs Fletch can't type.

Polopny said...

Many older men will like to see and hear Edith P.. Perhaps Mr. Fletch has forgotten the male taste for great singers.

chez-moi said...

Your movie review site is exceptionally innovative, intelligent, and informative and the writing sharp and crisp! Many KUDOS!
One comment from a mature fan...mentioning the Edith Piaf movie being more for the older movie buff's taste...see the movie; don't exclude the movie-going "gray panthers".

BostonSucksMyBlog said...

Did you see Hostel 1? It was a really good movie, i thought. Sex, gore, interesting plot.... I want to see 2, just dont know when.

Fletch said...

No, I have not seen the first Hostel, nor do I have any desire to do so. In terms of anything really in the horror genre (or close), all I've seen in the past year is Bug (review coming soon), Pulse (awful) and 28 Weeks Later (already reviewed). That's about it - not really my cup o' tea.