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Mar 30, 2007

One from the Video Vault: The Italian Job

I'll keep this short and sweet so as not to lower your intelligence any lower than mine has already become.

Watched The Italian Job this past weekend for the first time. Shocking.

How they managed to get at least three big name actors (Norton, Wahlberg, Theron) along with a sizable chunk of known supporting actors (Mos Def, Jason Statham, Seth Green, Donald Sutherland) to appear in this craptacular shitfest is beyond me. Even the prospect of piles of money couldn't have been enough for the three stars to stain their resumes.

Totally unoriginal, wildly predictable, monstrously cliched, yet attempting to be stylish, The Italian Job fails in all aspects of filmmaking outside of the prerequisite "looking like a film."

And to think, people had the nerve to call "Ocean's Twelve" a failure. Watch the two back-to-back, I dare you, then tell me which is better.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"I want you to punch me as hard as you can."


Footnotes:

* Unbelievably, they're making a sequel: The Brazilian Job. Can't wait...

* You may be wondering why I own this if it's so bad. Simple - Best Buy (or a video store) was selling it on the cheap and I had wanted to see it. $5.00 is the same as renting. No biggie there. That said, I'd like to return it now...


7 people have chosen wisely: on "One from the Video Vault: The Italian Job"

Anonymous said...

they were probably singing to themselves...

"i just want the papah

i jus- i just want the papah!"

NFL Adam said...

Hey, I liked Ocean's 12!

Fletch said...

NFL Adam said...

Hey, I liked Ocean's 12!


Yeah, I like it, too.

My point is that the general reception/reputation for "The Italian Job" is much better for some reason, and it's a heaping pile of garbage (for the most part).

NFL Adam said...

I see your point. Let me ask you, what did you think about the Bruce Willis cameo? Too many times cameos are just throw aways, but I thought the whole Julia Roberts/Bruce Willis thing was genius. That, along with NPH's cameo in Harold and Kumar's, has to be the best cameo ever.

Fletch said...

It was a good idea in theory, but something about it didn't work for me. I've decided that that's either because a) I'm still bothered by how "un-Julia Roberts" that Julia Roberts looked throughout the movie (in other words, she looked pretty terrible) or b) because Willis does too many cameos.

It's more than likely the latter.

NFL Adam said...

Yeah, but what was that movie they were in about the producer who wants to make this Indy flick and it gets turned into some blockbuster where Willis saves Roberts from the gas chamber?

I still liked that part. Plus I think I openly cheered when the Bruiser came to get Bernie Mac out of jail. So I'm a sucker for this series and will check out Ocean's 13 in the theaters (which I never do anymore).

Fletch said...

"The Player" is the movie you're thinking of. Those were great cameos, but they even had the advantage of tying in better to the story.

I loved the Bruiser appearance as well. Though it still bothers me that they just stuck Bernie in prison for 1/2 the movie. What a waste. The Damon/Mac/Garcia scene in the first is one of my favorites. ("Why don't they just call it "whitejack"?!?!")

13 is definitely on the horizon for me as well - I'm a sucker for heist flicks.