Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#78)

Congrats to TJMAC510 for getting on the board with the Beginner level poster last week; it should come as no surprise that J.D. took home the two points awarded for the Expert one.

BEGINNER


















EXPERT


















Standings:
J.D. - 17
Fletch - 14
Nick - 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop, Rachel, Dreamrot (smacdonn) - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79, JLG - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dave, Big Mike Mendez, Nic Cage, CaptainRon19, TJMAC510 - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

And then...

TGITDNMAR (1/29/10)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

When in Rome
Edge of Darkness
"Hi. My name is Fletch, and I will go to see bad movies if I have to."

"Hi, Fletch. Welcome to the group - admitting you have a problem is the first step."

"Thanks. I feel doubly guilty about it because I'm one of those people that tells others to quit bitching about sequelitis and remakeitis, insisting that if they'd just have the temerity to stop attending crap, Hollywood would get the message and stop making it. But see, (my wife and) I like going to the movies. We enjoy the theatrical experience. We don't have Netflix, we rarely rent, especially lately (maybe twice in the past year). We have a DVR and the HBO family of programs and TCM and any other commercial-free channels we may not be aware of at this moment, so that enables us to catch up on much of what we might've missed (or not missed yet still feel compelled to watch - I'm looking at you, Eagle Eye). We don't mind having a healthy chunk of our entertainment dollars going to a theater.

But damnit, is it too much to ask for one halfway decent option a week? WTF is this crap?!?"

"We feel you pain, Fletch. But are you willing to break this cycle?"

"I dunno. When we get hard up and have seen all of the things we want to see - and have even stretched it with others like Daybreakers and The Book of Eli - we usually just don't go as often, making it out maybe once a week instead of twice a week or so. But frankly, when we go much more than seven days without a hit, we start to go a little nuts, clawing at our skin and biting the heads off of those that attempt to engage us in normal behaviors. We start to consider seeing the likes of Leap Year and whatever Nic Cage might be out that week, if only because I have some sort of sadomasochistic relationship with him. It can be painful sometimes, but a release is still a release. Only when something is monumentally bad (Strange Wilderness) do I really regret it, though my wife might disagree."

"What about this week? Are you feeling vulnerable, like you might relapse? Are you being tempted by either When in Rome or Edge of Darkness?"

"You're goddamned right I'm feeling vulnerable. The last thing I saw was The Book of Eli, and that pretty much sucked, and must have been two weeks ago. And this week's new releases look like garbage - how many times must we see the Angry Dad movie [thanks to Simon and Jo for that one] before that sh*t is deemed staler than Wonder Bread from 1984? Oh, but it's combined with the Vigilante Revenge movie that we've never seen before. Throw in a heaping pile of Boston Mel Gibson and I'm about ready to watch The International again. And by the way, more Boston? Can a friggin' movie be set in Milwaukee for chrissakes? How about Atlanta? There are other cities in the US and the world-at-large.

Oh yeah, that's right, like Rome. Forgotten Sarah Marshall. Has that Josh Duhamel guy ever been in anything remotely good before? And if you say that Las Vegas TV show, I'll bet on black like Wesley Snipes (whatever that means). Just meh.

So yeah, we'll probably relapse, but I sure as hell hope it's not with either of these piles. The Blind Side, here we come." *groan*

"Please leave our group."
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater):
When in Rome: 8%
Edge of Darkness: 11%

And then...

Initial Thoughts #2

It's back, and it goes like this: I'm going to give you the initials of a number of characters from a movie. It won't always be the same number of characters, and the initials won't always stand for a proper name. You name the movie. Simple enough? I thought so.

The Movies
1. W, B, IM, F, V
2. IJ, MR, RB
3. RB, A, ID, P, AC
4. JC, KR, JG
5. DO, RR, LC, FC, TB, TO
6. D, R, V, C, J, SB
7. JL, PF, KM, CO, SS,
8. RB, VC, BF, BT, CK
9. M, T, R, S, C
10. DK, MM, FF, TH, VK
11. BM, LBD, NL, EB
12. CW, AW, DR, F, DS, LD, EB

Good luck!

Standings:
Arjun - 1

Correct answers so far:
1. The Princess Bride (JSR)
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark (Nic Cage)
3. Rocky IV (JSR)
4. Twelve Monkeys (JSR)
5. Ocean's Eleven (JSR)
6. Clerks (JSR)
7. American Pie (JSR)
8. Anchorman (JSR)
9. Swingers (Buffett35)
10. The Usual Suspects (JSR)
11. Unforgiven (JSR)
12. True Romance (JSR)

And then...

I wanna get cynical, cynical...

A few months back, I went over a list of some of the podcasts that I listen to regularly. One of the ones I discussed was The Film Cynics, and here's what I said at the time:

Steve Johnston and Brian Dutkewich of The Cynical Blog are more than mere podcasters; they have their own radio show! Airing on Sundays on Victoria, Canada's own C-FAX 1070, the Cynics re-purpose their show as a podcast (minus the air breaks and commercials), and I'm glad they do. Being pros and all, their podcast is one of the slickest you'll hear, and the guys' segments are clearly defined and individually entertaining, going over a featured topic, followed by picks from the vault, some high-tech talk and their DVD picks of the week.

The Cynics joined the LAMB a long, long time ago (they're #166 out of 430+), and you've likely seen Steve around the comments section here and there, and vice versa for me on their site. Somewhere along the way, though, Steve got the hair-brained idea that I might be a worthy guest on their live radio show.

Well, I did it this past Sunday. Going live to Victoria, BC and beyond (just how far beyond, I couldn't tell you), I did a phoner with the guys as we discussed The LAMB, Blog Cabins, and The Book of Eli, which we had previously butted heads over. Hopefully, I acquitted myself and didn't sound like too much of a jackass despite my proclivity for the word "definitely" (I barely recognize my voice, by the way, so don't be alarmed if you've heard it previously). Lucky for you, you can judge for yourself - the whole show can be heard here, though as you might've guessed, I recommend becoming a regular listener to their podcast (or show, should you happen to live around Victoria, which you likely don't).

Big thanks go out to the Cynics for having me on; it was a lot of fun and quite the honor.

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: The Book of Eli

Everyone knows that it requires a leap of faith to believe in a higher power. It takes perhaps an even larger one to accept many of the events depicted in the bible as fact (parting of the Red Seas, changing of water to wine, the creation of the earth in six days, what have you). That's child's play compared to all of the ridiculous bullshit the Hughes brothers attempt to shove down your throat, and if you can accept all of it, then brother, you've got a hell of a lot more faith than I do.

Taking their cues from a never-ending stream of previous works - but most notably from Sergio Leone's spaghetti westerns and The Road Warrior - the brothers Hughes have crafted a mostly enjoyable if derivative actioner, complete with top-notch choreography, overacting from the world's best overactor (Gary Oldman, natch), out-of-nowhere bit parts played by excellent vets (Michael Gambon and Tom Waits), and one of the least believable gotcha-twists that this moviegoer would ever be able to let go of. I'm more inclined to believe in the preposterous ending to the universally panned thriller Orphan than I am to Eli's mind-bender.

It all got me to thinking of another movie you likely won't see Eli compared to any time soon, Mike Leigh's 2008 dramedy Happy-Go-Lucky. In it, we're introduced to Poppy, an optimist so eternal that you could cop a squat into her morning coffee and she'd see the bright side in the situation, probably something along the lines of "I don't like decaf anyway - cheerio!" I found her personality not likable, but unbelievable and grating; I refused to believe that a person so cheery could exist, not without some dark side that they never let the world see.

While reading about Happy, it wasn't long before I found a bit of commentary in which someone likened the film to be a litmus test of one's own personality: if one could see truth in Poppy's being, then one was likely an optimist as well, whereas those who were irritated by her were likely pessimists. Of course, I prefer the term realist to pessimist, but the shoe fit either way.

The Hughes brothers appear to be conducting that same kind of experiment with Eli, though this time around the test revolves around the faith of their audience. It takes a true believer to watch the events unfold, then be handed a whopper of an M. Night-ism and be able to accept it, and - as if I didn't know it beforehand - it's clear to me that I have failed their test.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"Whatever"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

P.S. - One more comparison: this is The Road + Waterworld. Take that for whatever it might mean to you.

P.P.S. - If you'd like to get an idea of the atmosphere that the Hughes' set for you in this post-apocalyptic world, I've done that for you as well (click for larger view):

And then...

Poll results; new poll

You heard it here first forty-second, folks - The Hurt Locker is the film with the most pre-Oscar buzz to take Best Picture, with Up In the Air hot on its heels. It should be noted that I didn't even include Avatar in my poll, since I didn't think it had a realistic shot at winning, but that was pre-Golden Globes. I really don't think that its Globe win changes anything and there's not a chance in hell the Academy gives out its Best Picture award to a sci-fi mashup movie that happens to look pretty, but I guess stranger things have happened.

In the last LAMBcast, we looked forward to 2010 and broke down what which flicks we were most psyched about. New poll gives you a chance to answer the same question. My apologies for not including the Russell Crowe Robin Hood movie; I'm sure that was tops on all your lists.

Did I not include your pick? Sound off here.

And then...

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#77)

Gonna try this out with two posters this week, one Beginner level and one Expert level. One point awarded for Beginner and two points for Expert.

BEGINNER


















EXPERT


















Standings:
J.D. - 15
Fletch - 14
Nick - 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop, Rachel, Dreamrot (smacdonn) - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79, JLG - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dave, Big Mike Mendez, Nic Cage, CaptainRon19 - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

And then...

LAMBcast #11

The LAMBcast has moved! Due to its previous host no longer accepting new uploads, we've moved to Podomatic. I've transferred over our latest episode, in which we discuss our most anticipated for 2010, along with episode #10, for those that might have missed that one.

Podomatic has some great features, but their embeddable player is not one of them, as it's too wide for the sidebars and can't be narrowed properly. Instead, it will be included in posts such as this, and you can also find the link in the left sidebar in the Podcast Roundup. However, if you'd like to add the player to your site, click the little arrow in the top left corner of the player and copy the code.

This episode featured me as host, along with:

* Nick Jobe of Random Ramblings of a Demented Doorknob,
* Travis McCollum of The Movie Encyclopedia,
* and Rachel Thuro of Rachel's Reel Reviews.

As usual, the music, as provided royalty-free by Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website, is the bomb. Big thanks to Kevin for providing this service.

Also, you can find us on iTunes; just go to the Podcasts section and search for "LAMBcast." [Note: iTunes has yet to update the feeds per my request, so for this ep, please just go to our Podomatic page and subscribe from there.] And hey - while you're on iTunes, who don't you go ahead and either rate the LAMBcast or write a review of it. Better yet, do both! It'll help us get noticed by the overlords at Apple and earn worldwide fame...or something like that.

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, we'd love to hear them.

And then...

TGITDNMAR (1/22/10)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

I suspect collusion. The various studios releasing films this weekend (Screen Gems, 20th Century Fox, and CBS Films) present to you an excellent case of counter-programming this weekend. We have one kiddie film, one adult drama, and one aimed directly at the lifeblood of their industry (most of the time), teenage boys. Unfortunately, not a single one of them looks halfway decent.

Legion
Of course, if Hollywood were so smart, would they really have had back-to-back weeks of religious-themed actioners? I think not.

The red-band trailer is practically infamous at this point, not only for its length (over give minutes) but for the elderly woman behind the counter in a small town and the more-than-apparent death of one of the main characters. Oops. I have a hard time deciding whether or not I think this looks like a rollicking good time or absolute shite. Instincts tell me that the overtones are likely to lead it towards the latter, but that may just be because I'm out of the demographic.

Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 34%

Extraordinary Measures
What happens when you put two bland leading men (sorry, my youth tells me that I love Harrison Ford, but let's face it, short of his iconic characters, he's a pretty boring leading man) together with a bland title, all from a bland network/studio (CBS)? Obviously, you get an exciting thriller that will have you shaking in your seat.

Or perhaps not. CBS Films should have yanked its name from the title cards. The events that come after in the trailer already scream "TV movie" loudly enough - having coming from a TV network's movie studio arm doesn't do much to make me think this wasn't intended for the small screen initially. Shouldn't this be a Hallmark Hall of Fame production?
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 10%


Tooth Fairy
I said in a recent LAMBcast that it appeared as though Gerard Butler, he of The Ugly Truth, Gamer, and Law-Abiding Citizen "fame," was seemingly out to sabotage his own career, what with the awful choices he's made since starring in 300. Perhaps he has a wager with Dwayne Johnson to see who can oust themselves from A-list status (or at least B+) faster, since Johnson's list of credits over the past few years reads a lot like Eddie Murphy's, though I suppose the box office receipts might look a bit better for the former Rock. The Game Plan, Planet 51, Race to Witch Mountain, Southland Tales, Doom, and Get Smart. Outside of my irrational love for Southland, I don't think there's a single film in there that anyone would claim to love, though I suppose Get Smart went over pretty well (I thought it pretty bad).

On to that pile of rubble he can now add Tooth Fairy, which seems like a joke of a movie if ever there was one. Making an Easter Bunny joke is too obvious, right? What if I were to say that I'd rather have my wisdom teeth pulled again than watch Tooth Fairy?

Thankfully (!), he appears to have at least one non-kiddie fare flick on the horizon, in the form of the next Will Ferrell/Adam McKay joint, The Other Guys, which co-stars Mark Wahlberg and Samuel L. Jackson. Hits theaters later this year.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 0%

And then...

Initial Thoughts

Gonna take a short break from the Dude/Stuff game for at least a week, as I try not to get burned out on it (and believe it or not, it can be a bitch trying to think of movies and/or dudeist synopses for it). I can do this in part because I thought of a new, similarly Google-unfriendly game to take its place in the interim that I hope y'all dig.

It's like this: I'm going to give you the initials of a number of characters from a movie. It won't always be the same number of characters, and the initials won't always stand for a proper name. You name the movie. Simple enough? I thought so. Here they be - I'm going to try to start them off easy and have them get progressively more difficult, but who knows:

1. MA, GA, WA, PA
2. SC, JC, T, T1
3. RT, ET, RT, MT, CT
4. RB, SO
5. R"P"F, MK, RS, DD, JK, MN, KP, DW, BO, TO
6. JW, VV, MW, MW, P, HB, BC
7. LS, HS, PL, DV, OK
8. DVC, MC, SC, FC, TH
9. N, M, T, AS, O, C, T, A, S, M
10. JL, WS, DK, JL, ML, JT
11. DD, JH, AW, RR, BS, BB, R
12. FB, CF, SP, JB, ER

Good luck!

Correct answers so far:

1. The Addams Family (Wendymoon)
2. Terminator 2: Judgement Day (Arjun)
3. The Royal Tenenbaums (Arjun)
4. Gone With the Wind (Wendymoon)
5. Dazed & Confused (Buffett35)
6. Pulp Fiction (Arjun)
7. Star Wars (Arjun)
8. The Godfather (Arjun)
9. The Matrix (Arjun)
10. The Big Lebowkski (Buffett35)
11. Boogie Nights (Buffett35)
12. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (Wendymoon)

And then...

My turn to be Cree8v

I got some Kreativ Blogger awards - go me! Problem is, I don't get the Kreativ Blogger award. First of all, it's not been spawned by one originating site (that I'm aware of) that demands you to link back to it - what's the point of a meme if it doesn't create a massive link trail to the person that dreamed it up (you know, like the Alphabet Meme)? I'm just a simple cavemen - your apparently selfless and kind ways frighten and confuse me. Also confusing me is the "logo" for the Kreativ Blogger award; I suppose it's meant to be ironical a la the HI-larious spelling of the word "creative," but it looks like a patchwork, scrap-booking nightmare. I'm just a young, straight male - your elderly woman-loving logo frightens and confuses me.

Anyway, my appreciation goes out to Blake from Bitchin' Film Reviews, Steve from The Cynical Blog aka The Film Cynics (who awarded Blog Cabins) and Darren of the m0vie blog (who awarded the LAMB) for their gift to me. If anyone else gave it to me and I was too crappy to notice, thanks to you as well.

Here are the rules that come along with it:

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award. - √
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog. - √
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award. - √
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting. - see below
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers. - see below
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate. - yeah, I'll do that when I nominate them
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated - no problemo

Seven Wildly Interesting Things You May or May Not Already Know About Me
I more or less already did this over a year ago, so I suppose I'll have to come up with seven new things. Christ, how interesting am I supposed to be?

1. I've set foot (or tire tread, at the least) in at least 38 states, thanks largely to two loooong driving trips my parents took us on when I was a child (San Jose to Washington, D.C., San Jose to Disneyworld). I've also spent time in a whopping five countries (USA, Canada, Mexico, France, Spain).

2. I go to a pub quiz every Tuesday. Our team name is boring (Bloody Hell - it had that name before Mrs. Fletch and I "joined"), though our results are usually not (we finish somewhere between 3rd and 5th 80% of the time, out of ~20 teams).

3. Mrs. Fletch is seven years and ten months my senior.

4. I am the youngest of four children and due to the state in which I started school and my birth month, almost always one of the youngest in my class. These tidbits may or may not be related to #3.

5. We have five pets: two cats (Franklin, Roo) and three dogs (rottweiler mix Bailey and pugs Scooter and Ted, our latest edition). We got Ted in November '08 when he was a year old; we discovered after having him for a few days that he was deaf. No one knew this (or at least shared it with us). He also had severe hip dysplasia in both hips. Ted now knows many hand signs and can run and jump like most any other pup.

6. My favorite author is Chuck Klosterman.

7. I am fluent in over six million forms of communication and can speak bocce.

Seven Kreativ Bloggers That May or May Not Have Already Earned This Award
I tried hard to think about the word "creative" and how it might apply to my movie blogging buddies (what? there are other types of blogs out there?). I'd love to grant this honor to every site in my feed reader, but them's the breaks. These are the sites who go beyond great writing to come up with stuff that I get jealous about. To use a pointless movie reference, they make me want to be a better blogger.

1. He Shot Cyrus - Scott's site has run into a patch of inactivity as of late (last post: Dec. 7), but when I think of creative bloggers, and ones in which I often smite for coming up with articles/features that I wish I had thought of first, it's near the top.

2. when is evil cool? - Yes, it's true - wiec? have me an award recently as well (the One Lovely Blog award, which has just as bad a logo image as the Kreativ one does - who makes these things?), but that's not why he's getting this one. His site bleeds creativity from every pore. He claims that he's from the "boring part of Brooklyn," but I'd think someone with this much passion and this many interests would surely liven up the joint.

3. Invasion of the B Movies - You all ought to know and love Jason, even if you might love savor the B flicks like he does. He's always trying something new and just started up a podcast of his own (and has made a short film of his own, too - ask him for details).

4. No Smoking in the Skull Cave - Becca's been mighty busy as of late, which has already produced a downturn in her blog's output, but that's probably a direct correlation to her creativity (she's an artist), so I think it can be more than forgiven. Bonus/warning: her site is NSFW.

5. Random Ramblings of a Demented Doorknob - I've gotta give some love to the Commander Riker to my Picard (geeks), the VP to my POTL (President of the LAMB). Nick's R2D2 covers it all, from books to TV to film, and even delves pretty deeply into his own trials and tribulations as an English teacher. And guess what - he just made his own short film, too. Head over to his site and check it out (I need to as well...).

6. The Dark of the Matinee - The whole naming each post using a song's title had me smitten when the Hatter's site first arrived on the scene. It has yet to get old, and he's even continued the trend on his podcast, giving segments such names as "New Slang" and kicking off the 'cast with "Welcome to Wherever You Are," though I had to chide him for using an album name and not a song in that case. And oh yeah, the blog covers it all, from awards coverage to lists to link love for his fellow bloggers. Become one of his six seven eight fans.

7. Nic Cage as Everyone - I can't tell you how much this site pisses me off. It is so goddamned brilliant that it makes me seethe. Every time I think about it, a rush of emotions, um, rush through me. This is what I want to do - come up with a brilliantly simple, meme-ish site upon where the vast thousands of others send me their inspirations. NCAE currently has 273 posts in January alone, and yet how many of the creations were those of the site's author? Throw in the fact that the subject is Cage (it could really be any number of people and still work) and it just makes me love/hate it all that much more.

My obligation is complete. Or at least, it will be once I leave that comment on all my honorees' sites. Thanks again to Blake, Steve, and Darren.

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: Up in the Air

My Up In the Air awareness/opinion timeline:

Summer 2009: I assume this is roughly when I first heard about it. Jason Reitman, fresh from two critical hits in a row (Thank You for Smoking, Juno) plus George Clooney = sounds like a winner.

Fall 2009: Air plays at a number of film festivals, including its world premiere at the ever-ubiquitous TIFF. Buzz is building, but has yet to reach the mainstream.

November 8, 2009: I post a new poll here at Blog Cabins asking readers which of Clooney's three fall/winter films they plan on seeing. Up In the Air wins handily, earning a score of 100%, including a vote from yours truly.

December 1, 2009: The film, having recently completed its run of festival play, becomes the projected Best Picture winner for the first (and only) time on The Awards Circuit's tracker. It would lose that spot as of the next "ranking" on December 9, to The Hurt Locker (which retains the projected top spot to this day). Expectations are getting lofty.

December 4, 2009 - The film begins an ultra-limited release, opening in 15 theaters.

December 11, 2009 - The limited campaign expands to 72 theaters. It becomes all-too common to hear it regarded as one of the best, if not THE best film of the year.

~ December 12, 2009 - I see Up In the Air.

December 18, 2009 - The Best of 2009 issue of Entertainment Weekly hits my mailbox. Lead critic Owen Gleiberman declares the film the best of 2009. Co-critic Lisa Schwarzbaum picks it as her #4 film of the year.

December 28, 2009 - During the taping of LAMBcast #10, host Big Mike Mendez selects Up In the Air as his #1 film of the year.

January 8, 2010 - Entertainment Weekly features the three leads on its cover, which proclaims "The Oscar Race Is On."

January 17, 2010 - Avatar beats Up In the Air for the Best Picture - Drama award at the 67th Golden Globe Awards.

January 18, 2010 - I've yet to write a review.

Today - It's safe to say that the pre-release buzz/hype built up Up quite a bit in my head. That combined with my enjoyment of Reitman's prior directorial efforts and Clooney's work in general had me believing the hype, that it would no doubt make its way into my top three, at the very least.

Yet into the theater I went, attempting to wipe away all of those virtual accolades to that I might enter with as clean a slate as possible (yeah right). I enjoyed the movie - it was smart, funny, well-acted, light at times and heavy at others - in other words, it was just like Reitman's earlier work...only, I never once considered it to be amongst the elite of 2009, much less the decade. In fact, minus the biting satire part, it's probably most equatable to Thank You for Smoking in terms of how it plays out, only that film entered the pop culture consciousness with little-to-no fanfare aside from "Hey, Ivan Reitman's son is directing something!" and it being Katie Holmes first movie to be released post-couch jumping. In other words, it was a delightful surprise - a film that came out of nowhere with no expectations and impressed the relatively small audience that caught it.

Now some 30+ days since having seen the film, I'm feeling a bit like a backlasher, minus the vitriol that usually comes along with that territory. I don't hold any ill-will towards Air at all, and I wouldn't had it won the Golden Globe or should it go on to win the Best Picture Oscar (perhaps an upset at this point?). It is a wonderfully constructed, very good film...

...yet the more I think about it, the worse it gets. It goes full circle, and like you'd expect from a 360 degree journey, that means that you end up in the same place, a place that you knew you were headed the whole time. Many crucial moments are telegraphed, and perhaps the one GOTCHA! twist is one that doesn't make a whole heck of a lot of sense when you think about it for a moment.

"But what about all that it says about life in 2009?," you might ask me, to which I might respond "Ok, what is it really saying?," since I sometimes like to answer a question with a question. Clooney's Ryan Bingham seems to have learned a little something about the importance of human (and not flight) connections, that his family might mean more to him than he had initially let on. Yet he seems content treading the same path at both the beginning and the end, even if his potentially lucrative and possibly pointless side business may not go on. Vera Farmiga's character learns nothing. The poor saps getting fired don't particularly care whether or not their hand is held in person or via remote. So what's left? The economy is bad? People are vulnerable and emotional when terminated?

Go for the top-shelf acting, sharp dialogue and, of course, Sam Elliott and an all-too-brief Zach Galifianakis sighting - but leave the accolades at home.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"Darn tootin!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

And then...

Fletch's Mini-Film Review: A Single Man and Invictus

Because I'm way behind and my memory of these flicks isn't going to get any better...

A Single Man
The worst thing that could possibly happen with director Tom Ford's A Single Man happened: he made a pretty good movie. See, in case you're not privy, Ford is, or at least was, known for being a fashion designer. The critical success of this film could have a disastrous consequence: other designers thinking that they can make films, too, and ones as good or better than this. I don't know about you, but I don't think the world is prepared for an Isaac Mizrahi picture or something from the Tommy Hilfiger collection. Then again, Sean Puffy Puff Daddy Diddy Combs has dabbled in movies and he's technically a designer, too, and the world hasn't ended, so perhaps I'm overreacting.

Even moreso than with Jeff Bridges' two-tone performance in Crazy Heart, I'm a bit baffled by the showering of love for star Colin Firth. He's most certainly not bad, but I have a hard time recalling an actor having to do so little for so much praise: Firth is stuck in one emotion (wistful melancholy) for the lion's share of the run time, and though the few outbursts are good, they're not that good.

Yet despite Man's shortcomings - and there are plenty, from a horrid ending to an over-the-top Julianne Moore to a sparse story - it remains an important film, if for no other reason than for it's portrayal of homosexuality in the early 60s. It's both a blessing and a curse that this can't be just considered a love story - that it has to be a "gay love story," but that's what happens when there are so few pieces in which to compare it to.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"Darn tootin!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

Invictus
Speaking of important, imperfect films...

Director Clint Eastwood does himself at least one better than his previous outing, Gran Torino, by hiring two no less than professional actor for roles in this dramatization of the events that led up to the 1995 Rugby World Cup in South Africa. Of course, he still couldn't help but cast one son in a pivotal role (with another contributing some terrible songs to the film's soundtrack) and filling out the cast with local South Africans (who are tenfold the caliber of actors that the local Minnesotans in Torino were - or maybe their exotic accents are just tricking me).

Most likely due to my own ignorance (of rugby, South African history and Mandela in general, probably in that order), I fell somewhat for Invictus. Despite its myriad shortcomings - amongst them, those aformentioned awful songs, a draaaaawwwwwnnn out third act and some slippery storytelling - it remains an inspiring story that actually inspires: if you can watch the minor miracles that Mandela is portrayed to have accomplished and not feel like a slacker, then my congratulations (or condolences) go out to you: you've either gone from prison to presidency as well or you're delusional.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"Darn tootin!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

And then...

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#76)

JLG got Shorty last time out way too easily. Time to amp up the difficulty after a few weeks of taking it easy.




















Standings:
J.D. - 15
Fletch - 14
Nick - 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop, Rachel - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79, Dreamrot (smacdonn), JLG - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dave, Big Mike Mendez, Nic Cage, CaptainRon19 - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

And then...

TGITDNMAR (1/15/10)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

I'm ready for spring already. Just a dreadful slate of new releases, and I've seen 90% of what I'm even vaguely interested in seeing (and probably 60% of everything out there in total). Youth in Revolt, here we come, I guess.

The Book of Eli
I read a review of this earlier, and I don't think they were wildly giving anything away, but just in case...spoilers ahead.

So, the basic premise here is that battling religious forces in the recent past (I'm not sure who, but let's just say it's the most likely Christianity vs. Islam) combine to bring about the apocalypse. Time passes. Things looks grey (therefore depressing). Enter Eli. He has a BOOK. A magical book that will ►►► Deliver Us. It will save us.

What is it? A friggin' bible, of course. The last one remaining on Earth!!!

Now, this has little to do with my personal beliefs or yours. This is logic according to the film. Why would the (an) instrument of destruction be the same thing seen as the savior of the world? Why would the cycle not repeat?

I guess I'll just have to watch it to find out. Only I won't, because I don't really care. Cool knife, though.

Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 21%

The Spy Next Door
I don't blame the paycheck grabbers that made this. Times are tough, so if Billy Ray Cyrus and Amber Valletta want to cash in a bit on a safe "family" film, be my guest - it's not like their careers are going anywhere anyway, right?

No, shame on any consumer that actually encourages this kind of behavior from studios. Was Mr. Nanny not enough? The Pacifier? Are We There Yet? (and it's sequel, of course)? Parents, there is better fare out there for your children - I know it. Seek it out and see to it that another one of these movies is not made.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 0%

And then...

LAMBcast #10

As previously mentioned, the last time we recorded a LAMBcast, it was meant to cover Avatar followed by our best of 2009, plus all of the usual goodies. Well, we just couldn't contain ourselves, and despite the bladder-straining time it took to record the whole thing, we soldiered on for nearly three total hours (pre- and post-recording). So we did what needed to be done: split the ginormous episode in two.

In this episode (part two), we unleash our personal Top 10s on the world in a round robin fashion. Be sure to stick around after the show ends for an ultimatum for Nick that will have him second-guessing his decision for years to come (note: that might be an exaggeration). This episode was hosted by Mike Mendez of Big Mike's Movie Blog.

Mike was joined by fellow LAMBs:

* Tom Clift of Plus Trailers,

* Nick Jobe of Random Ramblings of a Demented Doorknob,

* Travis McCollum of The Movie Encyclopedia,

* and me.


As usual, the music, as provided royalty-free by Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website, is the bomb. Big thanks to Kevin for providing this service.

You can listen by playing it in the widget in the left sidebar; if you'd like to add it to your site (you would), click the "Add to my page" link. Also, you can find us on iTunes; just go to the Podcasts section and search for "LAMBcast." And hey - while you're on iTunes, who don't you go ahead and either rate the LAMBcast or write a review of it. Better yet, do both! It'll help us get noticed by the overlords at Apple and earn worldwide fame...or something like that.

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, we'd love to hear them.

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

"I think there are going to be moments in Parnassus; I’m just waiting to hear what the audience does when they see certain shots. There are lines that we refused to change after Heath died. It’s like the script was prescient. It’s really spooky."

"Not every movie has a magic mirror." - Terry Gilliam to Times Online

Like it or not, the death of Heath Ledger will cast a permanent shadow over The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Not since Brandon Lee's death while filming 1994's The Crow have we seen a death that impacted a film quite so much. Of course, stars and not-quite-stars die at a young age all too often in and around Hollywood, from River Phoenix to Brad Renfro to Marilyn Monroe. But what kind of cruel twist of fate does it take for them to be taken while filming their character's death, as was the case with Lee? Ledger's Tony may not share the same fate as Lee's had, but you'll know from the first time you see Ledger on screen to the last that a similarly bizarre set of circumstances was at play for the filming of Parnassus.

It's hard to tell whether or not the nostalgia brought on by seeing Ledger will help or hinder the image of Imaginarium in the long term. There are certainly some difficult scenes to watch (as Gilliam references above), yet there are also plenty of bittersweet ones, and you can't help but think that, if this had to happen, it's serendipitous that it should happen under Terry Gilliam's watch. Who else might have had not only the past experience with him (on 2005's The Brothers Grimm), but also with at least one of his former friends (Johnny Depp), who in turn no doubt was instrumental in bringing along two other of Ledger's friends (Jude Law and Colin Ferrell) to assist in portraying the fallen star's character in his final film. And what other movie might have had that "magic mirror" and (apparently) just the right amount of existing footage to edit the film so seamlessly and beautifully that you'd never know just from watching the movie that Ledger was deceased?

I don't yet know how much the emotional baggage has clouded my judgement of Parnassus, and I assume I won't know for some time - perhaps a second or third of fourth viewing some six years from now. Try as I might have upon entering to extricate the knowledge of his passing, the content of the film all but blows that notion out of the water. Ultimately, I hope it doesn't matter. Tragedy or no, Gilliam has made an excellent film.

As with just about every other film he's made, this is a bit like the tale of the tortoise and the hare. Gilliam is the hare and the viewer is the tortoise, with he and his ambitious, fantasy-laden mind getting off to a grand head start over you as you attempt to comprehend what's taking place on screen. A ragtag group of colorful characters is introduced to you all at once, and you haven't the foggiest idea of what they're up to. But you slowly catch up to the hare, as the storyteller finally relents a bit and shows you a bit behind the curtain, doling out the back story of Doctor Parnassus, his daughter, and a little devil named Mr. Nick, deliciously played by Tom Waits in one of my favorite performances of the year.

I'd rather not divulge the details of this diversion; there are a few messages to take away from Parnassus - be careful what you wish for, the danger of secrecy, gambling is bad - but I was never in real fear for the character's outcomes, and none is as important as the fashion in which Gilliam unravels the tale. A victory for style over substance, perhaps, but that's only because there's just so damn much style.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"It's in the hole!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

And then...

The Dude That Does Stuff Movie Plot Game #13

Last Week's Results: Well, he didn't get knocked off the podium at all, but JSR will have to share the spoils of victory this time, as he tied with Jess for the lead with 3 points each. See the last game's comments section for the answers.

The concept is overwhelmingly simple; below are 12 movie plots, torn down to their basest base, and invariably involving the words "dude" and/or "stuff." All you must do is name the film. 1 point per correct answer; he/she with the most points wins. Google to your heart's content; it will do you no good. Many films might match the plots you see below, but there is only one correct answer, and that's the one that's in my head when I write it.

Have fun with this stuff, dudes and dudettes.

1. Dudes do stuff they never thought they'd do.
2. Dude watches others do stuff.
3. Dude listens to others do stuff.
4. Dude makes up a lot of stuff.
5. Dude is the best at taking stuff.
6. Little dude needs a bigger dude to help him do stuff.
7. Dudes pretend to do stuff together.
8. Dude and dudette do stuff...and then suffer the consequences.
9. Dude doesn't remember that he did stuff.
10. Dude can do all the stuff he ever dreamed of.
11. People watch dude do stuff.
12. Big dude teaches little dudes stuff...but he's the one that learns.

As you get them right, I'll mark them as gotten and stuff. Good luck.

Standings
JacksSmirkingRevenge - 6.5
Myherobobhope - 1.5
BD79, Fitz - 1
Nic Cage, Jason, Nick, Jess - .5

Correct answers so far:
1. The Bucket List (Paul)
2.
3. The Lives of Others (Fitz)
4. Shattered Glass (Paul)
5.
6.
7. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (Paul)
8. Knocked Up (Fitz)
9. The Bourne Identity (Justin)
10. Bruce Almighty (Paul)
11. EdTV (Branden)
12. Kindergarten Cop (Paul)

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: The Road

Look as hard as you like, but you'll never find The Road anywhere in the annals of great Christmas movies. Yet there we were, shunned from a sold-out screening of Sherlock Holmes, fresh from caroling and eating and opening the treasure trove of trinkets brought to us by Saint Nick. What better film could we have hoped for than a doom-soaked apocalyptic drama featuring starving people and the cannibals that love them?

Despite its relentless message of hope amidst the worst of times and regardless of the day we watched it, it was hard not to get bogged down by the dreariness of The Road. Does the apocalypse have to be such a downer?

We're presented with a world turned upside-down. Millions are dead (we have no idea how many are left). Fox Mulder's claim to "trust no one" becomes the only words to live by. The overwhelmingly depressing outlook causes some to give up on life without a fight. The sun appears to be burning/burned out, leaving the landscape looking perennially like the Pacific Northwest (where, not coincidentally, suicide rates are high). And yet a father and his boy travel south down the eastern seaboard in search of...well, something. They're not quite sure, only positive that whatever is there (proximity to the equator? the ocean?) is better than their starting point.

I wasn't enamored with The Road. It's one of those movies that you might respect as being "artful" or "poignant" or even something as simple as "well-acted" or "artfully crafted," as it is all of those things and more. However, not only is it not an entertaining film - it's up there with the last half-hour of Requiem for a Dream on the Rollicking Good Time Scale of Theatrical Enjoyment - it covers a whole heck of a lot of ground that we've seen a lot of lately, and from better films. The desolate landscapes of 28 Days/Weeks Later, the realization of a human-less existence in Children of Men, and the cannibal fears of god knows how many horror films (and Ethan Hawke ones). On top of that, the mysterious nature of the book has also been translated to the film, so there's no explanation given as to why the world is the way that it is, and it's so bare in details that the characters don't even have names. What's left to take away is the reinforcement of something we already know about - the powerful bond between parent and child - and the importance of determination even in the face of the worst of circumstances. Point taken.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"Darn tootin!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

P.S. - Has anyone ever gotten more mileage out of two cameos (in a single year) than Guy Pearce in 2009?

And then...