Fletch's Film Review Blitz: The Men Who Stare at Goats, The Messenger, Fantastic Mr. Fox, Precious

The Men Who Stare at Goats
Lyn Cassady is a man on a mission, the only problem being that he doesn't quite know what that mission is. Bob Wilton is a man looking for a mission - a purpose for putting himself in Iraq. Lucky for Bob, he meets Lyn, and the two form an unlikely kinship that just might end up serving both their needs.

George Clooney shines as usual playing Lyn - the goofiest of goofballs, a self-proclaimed "Jedi warrior" - with a straight face. Goats parallels Three Kings along multiple lines (Clooney, an Iraq war, dramedy), but Grant Heslov's film doesn't quite match the intensity or comedy of David O. Russell's Kuwaiti heist flick. The plot and tone zig and zag all over the map, and while veterans such as Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges are around to keep it somewhat grounded, the pacing and frenetic quality of the story (multiple flashbacks, lots of characters) are too far ahead for the less-than-stellar writing to catch up.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

The Messenger
On the other side of the spectrum is Oren Moverman's is-but-it-isn't Iraq War drama The Messenger, a tough to watch but worth it film focusing on a profession I can't recall seeing portrayed much in film. As expected, it's an acting clinic, with award-worthy performances from leads Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster (compiling an awesome resume) and supporter Samantha Morton.

Foster's an injured "hero" just returned from Iraq who's having a hard time adjusting to that tag, along with life back in the states. Harrelson is the commanding officer he's assigned to, working as the next of kin notifiers of deceased soldiers.

Messenger treads some familiar ground, from post-traumatic stress disorder to the loss of loved ones, but little thought is usually given to the emotions and treatment the casualty notification officers are forced to endure. Additionally, the handful of scenes where they deliver the bad news are fresh and unpredictable spontaneous, something few films can offer these days. If the Best Supporting Actor category had ballooned to ten nominees as well, I wouldn't be shocked to see a nod to Steve Buscemi as a distraught father; as is, his role (and this film) is too small.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"It's in the hole!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

Fantastic Mr. Fox
I'm gonna go ahead and ignore that terrible tagline for now...(click image to enlarge)

Wes Anderson's last film, The Darjeeling Limited, seemed to be a no-win situation for him. It was another worthy addition to his canon, but felt like too much of the same to too many of his fans. The threat of caricature loomed: take disjointed family, add hyper-specific attention to detail, throw in a dash of 60s and 70s pop/rock and a penchant for slow-motion sequences, and blend. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Funny how a simple change of scenery can make such a vast difference. Anderson's delving into stop-motion seems nothing short of revolutionary in his first time out, giving Fantastic a feel like no other film, with a perfect blend of Anderson regulars (Jason Schwartzman, Owen Wilson, Bill Murray) and you'd-never-know-they-were newcomers (Clooney, Meryl Streep) on board as vocal talent. The usual doom-and-gloom of paternal issues is gone (mostly), replaced by a pair of clicks, some whistling, and loads of exuberance.

One of the year's best - though don't let the animation and animals fool you; this ain't for the little kiddies but for adults (minus the psychoanalysis of that other children's book adaptation from last month).

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"You're the best...around"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

Precious
Precious answers that long-asked question of "What if we remade Lean on Me, but instead of focusing on Joe Clark, we focused on Sams and made him a girl?"

Outside of the central character being a student (and a female at that), Precious felt much like Morgan Freeman's high school drama, just as it evokes feelings of Stand and Deliver, Dangerous Minds, and even last year's Paris-set The Class. Kind of makes you wonder where all the buzz is coming from (or why), considering how familiar we are with this kind of story.

What does make this film stand out from the crowd are the out-of-nowhere acting jobs on display (covered ad nauseum) and the (500) Days of Summer-like touches by director Lee Daniels where we delve into Precious' mind, giving the actors a chance to play dress-up for some imaginative dream sequences.

I've yet to decide where I come down on the movie's message, if only because it is so mixed. It's not as though that's a bad thing, however; with such complicated issues, there ought not to be a simple solution or a single finger in which to assign blame.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"Darn tootin!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

And then...

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#69)

Mission accomplished! I stumped game leader J.D. last week - the answer was Spies Like Us. How dare you all not know your Chevy Chase flicks.

Anyway, I think this one is more open to the general population...but not if J.D. gets here first.




















Standings:
J.D. - 14
Fletch - 12
Nick - 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop, Rachel - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79 - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dreamrot, Dave, JLG, Big Mike Mendez - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

And then...

Just because: Grindhouse's "Thanksgiving"

Happy Turkey Day, Dwellers! Don't stuff yourselves too much...

And then...

Fletch's Favored Five: 1984 in film

Not only have I failed at regularly maintaining the Fletch's Favored Five feature, I feel like I've been sorely lacking in the list department in general. Why should everyone else get to post fun and/or genius and/or idiotic Top 5s and/or 10s? I can do that, too!

But seriously, this particular series that I'm officially starting up (doing it by year) serves a dual purpose for me. See, I have a near-encyclopedic knowledge of movies that have been released since 1993. Before then? Not so much. It's not that I didn't watch movies before then - I just have a terrible memory (and I was pretty young for much of it). Sure, I know all of the big flicks, but I have a hard time recalling the little movies, the Oscar bait, the ones that would make peoples' "Oh, this is a totally underrated movie!" lists. After thinking about this a bit, I'm starting to wonder if the explosion of truly independent movies onto big screens (hmm, right around the early 90s) doesn't play a large factor here. Do I not remember the small movies...because there just plain weren't any/many? I seriously doubt that, or at least hope that's not the case.

Thus, I'm going to use my friend Wikipedia (poor thing, always being used, rarely getting attention) to kickstart my brain, year by year, and I'll throw out a Favored Five here and there. If you want to refresh your memory in a similar fashion, just go to Wiki and type "[four-character year] in film." Here's the one for 1984. I won't pretend that Wiki is the end-all, be-all of filmic knowledge or that these yearly lists are 100% accurate, but they're an excellent place to start and a great resource.

1984
I was seven years old for most of this year, so I don't feel all that terrible for the low, low number of films that I can claim to have seen. Still, it seems like I should be aware of many more than I am. That not being the case, making this favored five list was relatively easy, since the pickings from which I have seen are so small.

Honorable Mentions: Gremlins, Police Academy, Star Trek II: The Search for Spock

5. Ghostbusters - Haven't sat down and watched this in forever, but talk about the right movie for the right time (and time of my life). Funnier than my young self could have possibly comprehended, and responsible for the hilarious homage in Be Kind Rewind.


4. Blood Simple - the film that introduced the world to the Coen brothers, and Frances McDormand. Dan Hedaya makes a great greaseball as usual, and seeing Fletch vet (of course, this was before that seminal work) M. Emmett Walsh always makes me happy.


3. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - the lesser of the series until that abomination from a couple years back (yeah, I said it, Joe), TOD is still a great action-adventure, and is somehow the darkest and "kiddiest" at the same time. Invented the PG-13 rating, if I recall correctly.


2. The Karate Kid - set the standard for many copycats over the next few decades, and believe it or not, despite all of the love/mockery, it actually holds up as a good (albeit predictable) film. Who else is just dying for the latest version with Will Smith's kid? [Sees no hands being raised...]


1. The Terminator - It's not as easy to love as its sequel, but it was the beginning of an enduring franchise, the breakout of a certain Governator, and oh by the way, the special effects kicked ass (for the mid-80s). Pretty chilling, too.

And then...

The Dude That Does Stuff Movie Plot Game #7

Last Week's Results: JacksSmirkingRevenge pulled out a third straight victory, this time with 5 points.

I apologize for the tardiness this week. Busy at work and I don't feel so great. Bonus!

The concept is overwhelmingly simple; below are 15 movie plots, torn down to their basest base, and invariably involving the words "dude" and/or "stuff." All you must do is name the film. 1 point per correct answer; he/she with the most points wins. Google to your heart's content; it will do you no good. Many films might match the plots you see below, but there is only one correct answer, and that's the one that's in my head when I write it. Oh, and I've ratcheted back the difficulty quite a bit I think. Open season...

Have fun with this stuff, dudes and dudettes.

1. Dude is looking for littler dude.
2. Dude helps dudette find other dude.
3. Dudes find themselves.
4. Dude loses himself.
5. Dude loses his job. Just wants to find his family.
6. Geeky little dudes get stalked by bigger dudes.
7. Dude loses a big case. Finds a way to win anyway.
8. Dude loses an ability that's important to him.
9. Dudette loses her mind.
10. Dude finds another dude just like him.
11. Dudes lose dude.
12. Dude costars with big dude that looks a lot like his big, dead friend.

Ok, only 12 this time. I'm going to bed...

As you get them right, I'll mark them as gotten and stuff. Good luck.

Standings
JacksSmirkingRevenge - 3
Myherobobhope - 1.5
BD79 - 1
Nic Cage - .5

Correct answers so far:
1. Finding Nemo (JSR)
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7. Fracture (JSR)
8. Liar Liar (Justin)
9.
10. Step Brothers (JSR)
11. The Hangover (JSR)
12. Lost & Found (Justin)

And then...

Candy for Your Ears

In addition to starting up the LAMBcast a couple months ago, I've taken to listening to quite a few podcasts as well. As such, here's a rundown of the ones I've taken a liking to; being the company man that I am, it just so happens that they are all produced by fellow members of the LAMB. They're listed in no particular order:

The Simon & Jo Show
Simon Columb of Entertain Me heads up this production, joined by his partner in crime Jo Gudgeon. Based out of London, the pair puts out a relatively short show (usually clocking it at around 25 minutes) that goes over the latest films that either (or both) have seen, along with a short chat about the UK's top five films at the box office and occasional snarky snippets from a significant other. They usually start the podcast out with a short introduction from a remote location (meaning outside of a studio, not Antarctica), which adds an exciting yet intimate feel to the proceedings and gives the show a different feel from most podcasts, even when they return to a more controlled environment.

The Moving Arts FilmCast
If you're familiar with (and like) the work of the Sklar Brothers, either from ESPN or (better yet) from their filling-in for Jim Rome on his radio show, then the TMA FilmCast just might be the show for you. Brothers - but not twins - Eric and Scott Armstrong of The Moving Arts share not only a similar taste and knowledge of movies, but sound alike (and a bit like the Sklars). I'm pretty new to this one, but I like what I've heard thus far.

natsukashi
This is a specialized, focused podcast if ever there was one. Host Rob R. is joined frequently by fellow LAMB Scott Knopf of He Shot Cyrus as they discuss a single film, joined by someone involved with the film - frequently, it's a co-star, sometimes the lead, director, or cinematographer. Your interest in a single podcast will likely be determined by your interest in the film they're discussing, but the movies are generally well-known and fall squarely into the nostalgia category of film love (Demolition Man, Lionheart, My Cousin Vinny and Caddyshack are some of the recent shows).

The Film Cynics
Steve Johnston and Brian Dutkewich of The Cynical Blog are more than mere podcasters; they have their own radio show! Airing on Sundays on Victoria, Canada's own C-FAX 1070, the Cynics re-purpose their show as a podcast (minus the air breaks and commercials), and I'm glad they do. Being pros and all, their podcast is one of the slickest you'll hear, and the guys' segments are clearly defined and individually entertaining, going over a featured topic, followed by picks from the vault, some high-tech talk and their DVD picks of the week.

Row Three's Cinecast
I'm relatively new to this one. Row Three's Andrew James and Kurt Halfyard deliver a long show (90+ minutes) that takes a deep, deep trip into film, covering a vast array of topics and references, maintaining a hot debate over the merits and demerits of their featured film, along with smaller chats about some other recent releases. Put your thinking caps on.

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: An Education

A whip-smart, suburban-dwelling, precocious teenager attending a private high school. A thirtysomething object of affection. Brushes with high culture and monied individuals. A heavy dose of Britain in the 60s.

Is this An Education or Rushmore?

Those similarities (and the presence of Olivia Williams, who once upon a time played Max Fischer's love interest) aside, Education stands on its own as a worthy coming-of-age story, featuring a star-making performance by Carey Mulligan and excellent supporting turns by a hilarious Alfred Molina, the elegant Williams, and Emma Thompson (in an extended cameo).

Mulligan is Jenny, a teen so bored with her current position as a London-suburb-dwelling high school student that she inserts random French phrases into her everyday speaking in order to feel more like an urban Parisian. She listens to French chanteuses and smokes behind her parents' backs.

Then she meets David. Dreamy David, who rescues her out and away from the cold and dreary teenage world into a life of jazz clubs, road trips to gay Par-ee and, despite their vast age difference, poses an immediate threat to her virginity. Jenny is smitten. Her parents are smitten. And David, perhaps not smitten, is having the time of his middle-aged life.

It's hard not to feel a certain contempt for the roads the characters go down, making all the wrong moves for the simple promise of what might be real, but director Lone Scherfig gets us invested in the whys of their motivation and delivers an entertaining look at the lessons some must learn in order to grow up.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"Darn tootin!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

And then...

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#68)

Since J.D. currently has a 14-6 advantage over the second place player (my tally is only for the times I've stumped you all), I'm basically going to just take this game as a challenge to stymie J.D.

I think I might have you here, young man. And don't worry - it's not some obscure film.




















Standings:
J.D. - 14
Fletch - 11
Nick - 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop, Rachel - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79 - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dreamrot, Dave, JLG, Big Mike Mendez - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

And then...

TGITDNMAR (11/20/09)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon
OMG Taylor! OMG Robert! OMG Kristin! OMG Kristin and Robert! OMG Look at Taylor! OMG Dakota Fanning! OMG Vampires! OMG Werewolves! OMG OMG! OMG Taylor! OMG Robert! OMG Kristin! OMG Kristin and Robert! OMG Look at Taylor! OMG Dakota Fanning! OMG Vampires! OMG Werewolves! OMG OMG!
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%

Planet 51
I feel like the Politically Correct Police is slacking on their job of annoying us and making sure we're aware of things that don't matter. This week, it's the fact that Dwayne Johnson, he of multi-racial descent (Black and Samoan), is doing the voice of a white character. Of course, I don't particularly care about this, save for the part where you can be certain it would be a big, fat, hairy deal were the situation reversed (The Last Airbender, anyone?). Hypocrisy?

Anyway, I haven't even watched the full trailer for this, but I'm not sure I need to; it's a clever concept, but one that can be summed up in about 3.5 words. Ought to be ripe for some decent jokes - just don't go looking for anything deep. Solid vocal cast, with Jessica Biel, Justin Long, Gary Oldman, John Cleese, and Seann William Scott (The Rundown reunion!) on board.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 23%

The Blind Side
I'm really hoping that at some point, Sandra Bullock's Southern belle will paraphrase the iconic John Moxon and tell the disenfranchised, parentless and poor teen she has taken in, "I don't want...you to have...your life." But that's probably not going to happen.

I don't have much else to say about this one - just not interested in the slightest. Newsflash, but Sandra Bullock, as a rule, doesn't make good movies. Though is anyone else shocked that this is a Warner production and not Disney? Talk about an upset.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 6%

The Fantastic Mr. Fox
By all accounts, I shouldn't be all that excited for this. After all, it's Wes Anderson, doing a replica of his Wes Anderson thang (the major criticism of The Darjeeling Limited), only this time with stop-motion. Most of the W.A. Players are on board as well, from Bill Murray to Jason Schwartzman to Owen Wilson. And yet, I'm psyched to see it. Must be the whistle click*click - it's my trademark.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 99%

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
I suppose it's too obvious for me to ask that the title be changed to Bad Actor, right?

Truth is, despite the fact that I haven't seen the first, openly loathe Cage, and am not all that interested in Herzog's films (in general), the trailer for this makes it appear to be pretty interesting, even if the material is the kind of stuff that we've seen before. Cage (warning: compliment coming) is at his best when he's off the reservation a bit and he's clearly off it here. No theatrical viewing in my future, but I wouldn't mind a future cable one.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 11%

Broken Embraces
I'm about to hit you with some of my famous, fabulous Insider's Insight™ yet again. Are you sitting down?

Ready?

Ok, here it is.

Pedro Almodóvar thinks Penelope Cruz is hot. Like, really hot. Woody Allen thinks she's the bees knees. Whoever directed Elegy (sorry, my Insider brain can only retain so much information) thinks she's hot, too. Pretty sure Cameron Crowe agrees as well.

You know what? I f*$#ing get it. Penny Cruz is hotter than all other starlets combined. Her face is a porcelain doll come to life. Her breasts rival Venus de Milo's in their beauty. Her hair is made of fine Corinthian leather and her neck emits its own perfume whenever she desires it to.

I get it.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 2%

And then...

Survivor: Samoa Episode 10 Recap/Live Blog

One week until Thanksgiving. You know what that means, right? The evil clips show will be the next episode, if there's even one at all. A Wednesday airing is possible, but I'm gonna say unlikely. So get your Russ fix in tonight, since he won't be back for two weeks (if he's still on the show at all...).

7:01: One more reason to like Danger Dave...immediately back form Tribal Council and he comes over and congratulates Russ and the Foa Foa Four. His shocked yet bemused looks at Tribal were a good hint to his mindset (as opposed to Laura, who looked stone-cold pissed), but it was still a great display of humility.

7:05: The rat race begins early, as Russell is up at the crack of dawn - before his fellow players, of course - already looking for the latest hiding place for the hidden idol. Let the calamity begin!

7:08: Yes - tacky product placement returns! I won't say what the product is since I don't want to contribute to this behavior, but let's just say that it's a phone whose name rhymes with Calm Free. Sorry, I need to go to the Home Depot toilet now.

7:10: Why is John the team member in the lever-pulley challenge that's being pulled around by his teammates? Wouldn't you always choose the lightest person, in this case being Monica? Dumb.

7:12: Shocking - that tactical error likely cost the yellow team a victory, as the purple team had the ultra-light Natalie in their hammocky thing. Even better news for the purple team? They can now make phone calls with their schmacy Palm Pre - oops! Damn, I said it.

7:17: As if the mid-show commercial for a phone wasn't bad enough, they decide to show us "pictures" that the castaways took with their phone. Um...those pictures were not taken with that phone - at least not all of them. What's it got, a 3-megapixel camera in there, and yet it can take crystal-clear images that fill an HDTV? My ass.

7:18: So we're shown some footage of Mick, Jaison, and Monica chatting it up back at loser island about strategy and this and that and the other. !!!! Why aren't these maroons tearing up the place looking for the hidden immunity idol. Complacence and confidence are good tactics to use if you'd like to leave the game.

7:22: And so the insanity has begun. Russell tells Jaison and Mick about the clues, and within seconds flat, Laura and Dave are following him around like a puppy following its master.

7:24: If I say "he did it again," do I even need to extrapolate on that for you to know exactly what I'm talking about. Russell is on another plane of Survivor Consciousness, people. The big question now...to play it again or give it away? I say play it again - what's to stop him from getting it again?

7:26: Of course, the better plan would be for Russ to get the run of the mill Immunity Idol. I say he's due. Laura can not win it again.

7:28: I don't know about the "throwing rocks" portion of this Immunity Challenge, but John sure had a smirk on his face when the "shooting arrows" portion came up.

7:30: Seriously, how old is Brett? I know women with more facial hair than him!

7:31: Ok, I don't actually know any women with more, but I know I've seen women with more. Get that boy some testosterone, stat (Mick, you're a doctor, you do it).

7:32: Speaking of Mick - good god, a Foa Foan actually won something, as Doc took home the Immunity. Not quite as good as Russ taking it, but pritty, pritty, pritty good nevertheless.

7:35: The sensitive piano music during Shambo's heart-to-heart with Brett was priceless. That is all.

7:40: There's a lot going on, so it's hard to get my head wrapped around all of this business that Monica, Dave, and Brett are selling, but I'm pretty sure it's going to fail miserably. There's no way Sham is voting anyone but Laura, and I'm fairly certain that the Foans are more than content in playing their odds with a tie (at worst). If anyone's likely to flip, it's a former Galu player, not a Foan. And so far, it seems like John is wont to join Shambo. It really seems as though the balance of power has shifted, despite what the Galus (minus John and Shambo) think.

Oh, and by the way, I'm liking John more and more after the events of this episode.

7:48: Don't you love how the focus got shifted away from Russell's head justlikethat? He lives (barring a rock draw).

7:49: And oh by the way, I know we're getting a tie, because there's too much time left in the show. Sometimes, it's just that easy.

7:50: Tie ballgame! Even Dave Matthews loves it!

7:51: C'mon, John - this is your time to shine...

7:52: Laura...
Natalie...
Laura...
Natalie...
Laura...
Natalie...
3-3...2 votes left.
Laura...
...
...
Final vote: Laura!!!! Bless you, John - you're officially my second-favorite player. Of course, you are NOT the favorite player of Dave, Brett and Monica - they were sending tiny daggers of hate his way. The next episode ought to be full of frisky fun. See you in...two weeks? (They didn't say.)

Survivor news at Survivor.com
Survivor homepage at CBS.com

And then...

Poll results; new poll

Y'all are a bunch of bald-faced liars...or Up in the Air is gonna earn a lot more than its producers are probably expecting right now. 13-for-13? Everyone's hot for Jason Reitman's next flick?

I'm one of that baker's dozen as well, but as a Clooney fan, I voted for all three, having already seen Goats and planning on seeing Fox this weekend. I'm just shocked - I figured Up in the Air was the least accessible of the three; then again, it's the one most likely to earn high-profile Academy nods. We shall see...

New poll is all about 2012 director Roland Emmerich, who seems to have run out of earth to destroy. What's next on his slate?

And then...

Just because: Weezing the juice

And then...

Fletch's Film Review: 2012

Note: There will be spoilers in this review. However, not only does this movie not have any spoilers in that Sixth Sense idea of what a spoiler is, but really, is there anything that I could say that would possibly spoil this movie for anyone? If you don't know that it's about the end of the world as R.E.M. knows it (how much was Roland Emmerich killing himself for already using that song in Independence Day?), then you have bigger issues than worrying about spoilers. Like, it might be time for a CT scan, and pronto. So proceed sans fear, dwellers.

Note two: Yes, the author of this review is the same moron that placed his odds of seeing this film at 7% just days ago in the last TGITDNMAR and stated that "I just can't support it financially and look at myself in the mirror." I don't know what to tell you other than to share the news that I have about 49 years of bad luck due to me now. I just had to see how bad it was, and good lord, it was worth every penny. It's terrible - laugh out loud terrible at times, and you will simultaneously love and hate yourself for seeing it.

On to the review...

You know what? Scratch that. Actually, scratch that "scratch that;" Roland Emmerich doesn't "scratch" anything - he blows it the hell up or drowns it in a torrent of water. So..."explode that." There will be no formal review for this - just a series of random thoughts strung together by "feelings" and special effects sequences.

* I'll save my picking of nits for later because I have a much larger gripe with this flick. Not surprisingly, it has to do with the writing.

The first character we meet is a scientist played by Chewitall Edgeonthefloor (if you're familiar with the deli franchise Schlotzsky's, their slogan is "Funny Name. Serious Sandwich." Ejiofor needs to change his name to "Impossible Name. Serious Actor." But I digress.). His scientist, Dr. Sherman Hemsley, learns of impending doom headed to Middle Earth in the very near future, and he must speak to the White House Chief of Staff (Oliver Platt, known to Mrs. Fletch as "the fat guy") to tell him of this news. He talks to him, gets on the White House staff himself and yada yada yada a plan is set forth to ensure the future of the species, which includes building a number of 21st century arks. It's all top secret, hush hush, on the down low and the QT. As DOOMSDAY looms larger, Hemsley becomes stricken with a serious guilty conscience and the main drama of the film (outside of that whole "planet more or less going bye-bye thing") hinges upon the see-saw for power between Ejiofor and Platt over whether to go public, to the public, that they're pretty much all gonna die, and pronto.

Ejiofor wants to spread the word, Platt wants to zip the collective mouths of all that are in the know, and will go to any length to enforce this. We're meant to join in Ejiofor's plight since his Indian pal was lied to about this and some French was killed for that and damnit, the "people DESERVE to know!," or something like that. He is just and true, Platt is wrong and bad (the situation plays out on a smaller scale later in the film as well).

My problem is that I sided with Platt the entire time. Am I supposed to feel guilty about this? "What about the workers [that built the arks]?," Platt is asked, with everyone knowing that their fate is doomed along with 99% of the rest of humanity, while the rich and powerful (and John Cusacks) are safely stowed onboard.

Well, what about them (and the rest of the "masses"), you might ask? A wise person once wrote something about "survival of the fittest" and evolution and all that jazz; news flash, Mr. Scientist, but in this here 21st century, like it or not, wealth and power are what makes one man (or woman) "the fittest" in this society. The ability to kill a buffalo with your own hands and/or rudimentary tools might be nice, but it doesn't make for the greatest of retirements or the largest pool of available mates. The group of people that set out to build these arks (and stock them full of as many historical artifacts and species as possible) were doing this for the hopeful continuation of life on Earth as they knew it. To have told the remaining 7 billion people on the planet, at any time, would no doubt have submarined the entire efforts, causing mass hysteria, riots, and a pre-apocalypse apocalypse that no one could possibly imagine.

Had there been any tangible benefit to telling the world of their fate - had it made the slightest difference in the end outcome - I might have been right there with the righteous Hemsley. But it wouldn't have.

* Well, I feel better with that off my chest. Now, let's round this out with my Favored Five Improbable, Impossibly Stupid, Incredibly Genius Moments of 2012.

5. Was this a run-of-the-mill horror flick or a disaster pic? Could the deaths among the known characters have been any more obvious? Those that had sex or said "I'll be right back" were doomed; all "innocents" were spared. More annoying than anything else.

4. How were the arks being powered, exactly? And why was there apparently still internet service post-apocalypse?

3. So, are we to believe that typhoons/tidal waves/whatever just appear out of nowhere without the slightest notice or precursory water? A character stands on the grass of the National Mall in front of the U.S. Capitol and watches a mile-high tidal wave appear - out of nowhere - and subsequently take out the White House. Um...they're practically parallel. There was no water in front of said character as they witnessed the wave. Not a drop.

2. Emmerich wanted to destroy the Sistine Chapel. Fine, I get it. Did the crack in the ceiling have to go directly between God's hand and Adam's? There was not a more obvious shot in the movie.

1. We all rolled our eyes when Arnie (brilliantly lampooned here, by the way) flew a friggin' F-whatever jet plane through a building in True Lies. That was so 90s, though. It was high time that got outdone, and severely, no? The sight of Cusack driving a speeding limousine through a building would have been bad enough, but a building that's crumbling to the ground at that moment? Laugh out loud funny.

Fletch's Film Rating:

	"Whatever"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

And then...

LAMBcast #5

The LAMBcast is back in its full form, and back with a full slate of five hosts. The featured discussion this time out is none other than the supposed "last great movie star," Mr. George Clooney, who (in case you've been living under a rock in a cave) might have three films out at your local theater next month when Up in the Air opens, joining The Men Who Stare at Goats and his vocal contribution to The Fantastic Mr. Fox. We dissect his career, from The Facts of Life to Batman & Robin and everything in between. Also on tap: some Trailer Talk and a game of Last Man Person Standing.

In it, I was joined by fellow LAMBs:

* Tom Clift of Plus Trailers
* Nick Jobe of Random Ramblings of a Demented Doorknob,
* Mike Mendez of Big Mike's Movie Blog, and
* Alex Kittle of Film Forager.

Trailers discussed:









As usual, the music, as provided royalty-free by Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website, is the bomb. Big thanks to Kevin for providing this service.

You can listen by playing it in the widget in the sidebar; if you'd like to add it to your site (you would), click the "Add to my page" link. Also, you can find us on iTunes; just go to the Podcasts section and search for "LAMBcast."

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, we'd love to hear them.

And then...

The Dude That Does Stuff Movie Plot Game #6

Last Week's Results: JacksSmirkingRevenge pulled out a second straight victory with 4 points, though I deserve a mention as well, what with the six (!) stumpers I walked away with.

The concept is overwhelmingly simple; below are 15 movie plots, torn down to their basest base, and invariably involving the words "dude" and/or "stuff." All you must do is name the film. 1 point per correct answer; he/she with the most points wins. Google to your heart's content; it will do you no good. Many films might match the plots you see below, but there is only one correct answer, and that's the one that's in my head when I write it.

Have fun with this stuff, dudes and dudettes.

1. Dude is tormented by...stuff?
2. Dude eats stuff.
3. Dude stops doing stuff.
4. Dude doesn't want stuff taken away from him.
5. Dudes and dudette think they can do stuff, but they can't...but they can.
6. Dude does stuff the wrong way.
7. Dude gives up stuff.
8. Dude needs to throw stuff away.
9. Dude's gonna try doing stuff again. Bad idea.
10. Dudes do stuff to get back at other dudes that did bad stuff.
11. Dude and dudette do random stuff together.
12. Dude does stuff for the second time.
13. Dudes engage in lifelong battle over stuff.
14. Dudes turn stuff off, so to speak.
15. Dude and dudette look for a place for their stuff.

As you get them right, I'll mark them as gotten and stuff. Good luck.

Standings
JacksSmirkingRevenge - 2
Myherobobhope - 1.5
BD79 - 1
Nic Cage - .5

Correct answers so far:
1. Duel (Jason Soto)
2. Supersize Me (Fitz)
3. Office Space (RarelyHeard)
4.
5. Mystery Men (JSR)
6. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (JSR)
7. Trainspotting (JSR)
8. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (JSR)
9. The Wrestler (Fitz)
10. Munich (Justin)
11. Before Sunrise (Bob Turnbull)
12. 17 Again (Jason Soto)
13. There Will Be Blood (JSR)
14. The Hurt Locker (Jason Soto)
15. Away We Go (Fitz)

And then...

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#67)

Alright - thanks to the assistance of Mrs. Fletch, I'm back and stocked with a large batch of SGCs in which to torment you with. We start with this well-known and much loved film.




















Standings:
J.D. - 13
Fletch - 11
Nick - 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop, Rachel - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79 - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dreamrot, Dave, JLG, Big Mike Mendez - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

And then...