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Oct 30, 2007

Fletch's Film Review: Confusions of an Unmarried Couple

About a month ago, I was contacted by an independent filmmaker based out of Toronto. His name is Brett Butler (sadly, not the former L.A. Dodger, and gladly, not the annoying-voiced comedienne) and his latest film is the one in the title above. He and his brother Jason have their own production company (http://www.subprod.com/) up there where they've made a few films, all on low budgets.

Brett and the gang have been taking Confusions on the festival circuit and have won and/or been nominated for a few awards ("the Audience Choice Award for Best Film at the Indiana University South Bend Video and Film Festival, as well as being nominated for Best Film at the Swansea Bay Film Festival in Wales, and Best Comedy at the Southern Winds Film Festival in Oklahoma). As part of this publicity, I assume they're contacting a number of movie bloggers in an attempt to get some more press. Well, I took him up on the offer and received a screener DVD a few weeks back, finally getting to watch it a couple weekends ago.

And I've been dreading writing the review ever since. See, this is the first time (outside of a few film/theater classes in college) that I've had to review the work of someone that I've (more or less) spoken to. It's easy to bag on Nic Cage (and he deserves it verily), but doing it in person would not only be awkward, but might get my ass kicked . Then again, I don't have words nearly so harsh for the Butlers. Nonetheless, welcome to film criticism, Fletch.

Since there's a 99% chance you'll never get to see this movie, I'll be doing the review a bit differently than I normally would, going heavy on the plot synopsis, then following that up with some general criticism of the film. If you'd like to see the movie, visit the Substance Productions website listed above for info how to get a hold of a copy.

As you might have guessed from the title, the plot centers on a pair of twentysomethings (Dan, played by Brett, and Lisa, played by Naomi Johnson) going through a relationship crisis. The film starts with Dan, depressed and disgusting, trolling around his trashed apartment in a drunken and disorderly state. He's heartbroken, more or less, over the recent falling out between he and Lisa. In a series of video diaries, he vaguely speaks of his intentions and feelings. He has a plan, in a manner of speaking, and it involves going to Lisa's place and getting some of his personal items back, one of which happens to be a mattress (nice touch).

Lisa is shocked by his appearance at her doorstop, initially slamming the door in Dan's face. However, he still has a key, so he lets himself in and immediately heads for the bedroom, in a failed attempt to slyly move the mattress out without Lisa's knowledge. No dice. Soon enough, she catches him, and for the rest of the film, the two move about the apartment, going from one argument to the next, all of which is intercut with video snippets from the past (happier times), photos of the two "in love" and a "theme" for the next argument/discussion.

The film culminates with the two in bed, thoughts racing through each's mind (narrated for our listening pleasure), and just when each is ready to psych themselves out of their present state (and state of mind), Dan blurts out "Wanna get married?" Cut to black, the end.

My thoughts, good and bad, jumbled about in no particular order:

* For something made on a low-budget (IMDb lists estimated cost at $500 Canadian), the film looks great. Alternating between an intentionally bad looking "home movie" style camera and the more professional one used to shoot the bulk of the movie, you get the distinct impression that whoever shot it is skilled at doing so.

* The character development is strong. Though I walked away not liking either character, I can't say it's from a lack of "getting to know them."

* Unfortunately, they are the only two characters in the film, and spending the entire time with two unlikable people = aggravation. Aside from grating on each other, Dan and Lisa grate on the audience as well, as they're both painted as selfish, insensitive cheaters. How I longed for someone, anyone, to break up the action a time or two.

* While Brett carries his own as an actor (and judging from the trailers included on the DVD, can play a range of characters), Johnson is decent some times and painfully bad at others, sounding like she's rehearsing her lines much of the time.

* The original music by Ryan Noel sets a good mood and provides an escape from the monotony of the arguments.

* It has its moments of hilarity (the mattress bit, for starters), but I was left feeling like the film was an extended Kevin Smith sketch that overstayed its welcome. You know the scene in Clerks where Dante and his girlfriend are sitting behind the counter discussing her prior sexual history (37?!)? Imagine that for 75 minutes and you have a good idea of what Confusions is about.

* Though I understand the financial reasoning behind it (pro-quality cameras are expensive and all), the addition of a second camera (and angle) for the conversational scenes would have done wonders towards spicing up the movie. Instead, we're stuck with a constant panning back and forth and back and forth from Dan to Lisa and back again.

* In the end, I have to give it up to the Butlers and all involved. Independent filmmaking is hard, and doing so on a tight budget is exponentially harder, but with the help of some technical skill, original music and solid production values (the DVD box and cover art, for example), you'd think it was a much pricier production. More to the point, I'm envious that they've done something that I have not, and that's to just go out there and do it. Though the film might not have been my cup of tea, some inspiration seems a lot more valuable.
And then...

Oct 29, 2007

Fletch's Favored Five: Happenstance Halloween Movies

I admit that's an awful title, but I couldn't think of a great way to shorten up "movies that take place on Halloween but aren't scary or really meant to be so."

While everyone else in the world is take in-depth looks at horror films and other such frightfests, I thought I'd look at some circumstantial Halloween flicks. There aren't a ton (at least that I've seen - let me know of any major oversights), but I've found five flicks that I'm fond of (hooray, alliteration!). Let's get this over with:


Donnie Darko
Richard Kelly's 2001 film is hailed by many as a masterpiece, and I can't put up much of an argument. It's damn good, and along with Memento and Fight Club, is one of the pre-eminent mindf*cks of the last 15 years. Full of somewhat supernatural geekitude, it still manages to be accessible to a mainstream audience, and features a great 80s soundtrack (no, that's not an oxymoron) full of alternative/gothy/dark music (Joy Division, The Church, Echo and the Bunnymen), not to mention the now ubiquitous Gary Jules cover of Tears for Fears' "Mad World." The bunny suit rocks as well, though the actor that plays Frank (James Duval) has long been a terrible one (Go is one of the few I enjoy him in, and he's not in it all that much).

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial
Call me a softie if you must, but I was six when this came out, so I'm allowed to like it (though I haven't seen it in years; I think it gets too misty in my house when E.T. gets sick. He's too pale!!). But seriously, what's not to like about this movie? It even has Drew Barrymore when she was just an alcoholic and had yet to move on to hard drugs. The plot outline on IMDb is even priceless: "A group of Earth children help a stranded alien botanist return home." Maybe I'm dumb or maybe it's because I was a 2nd-grader when I saw it, but it never dawned on me that E.T. was a botanist. That would have made a much better title, by the way: A.B.: The Alien Botanist.

The Karate Kid
As if there weren't enough reasons for the Cobra Kai to want to kick Daniel-San's butt, the guy dresses up as a shower (a SHOWER!) for Halloween. How lame was this guy, exactly? The Cobras all look like bitchin' Skeletor guys and here's Danny Larusso in a t-shirt and sweatpants with a curtain on a hula hoop wrapped around him. And he's at a dance, to boot! Can you imagine trying to dance while the guy with a 12-foot radius keeps running into you because he can't see anything but his feet and the fabric encircling him? Get him a bodybag, indeed.

In America
While this and the next entry are good films, I must be getting to the bottom of the barrel, as I've seen each but once and can barely recall the Halloween scenes in them. Nevertheless, I will trudge on. This immigrant story features the always-great Samantha Morton and Paddy Considine as an Irish couple bringing their two kids to the States to find those streets made of gold and all that jazz. They end up living in what's more or less squalor, but manage to make ends meet and make the best of their situation. Not nearly as sappy as it sounds. Djimon Hounsou co-stars. (I remember there being Halloween scenes with the girls trick-or-treating, but couldn't give you too many details.)

American Splendor
Paul Giamatti finally got his due in this Harvey Pekar biopic. Here, I have no recollection of any Halloween scenes, but why would IMDb lie to me? What would they have to gain? Anyway, this is a great, hilarious film that I really need to purchase and watch again. It goes beyond breaking the fourth wall and just breaks the fifth and sixth ones as well just for the hell of it. The real Pekar (and his wife) appear, it shifts between being a narrative and quasi-documentary numerous times, comics come to life - it's all glorious mayhem.
And then...

Oct 26, 2007

Commit a Random, Senseless Act of Violence!

Actually, that might be frowned upon, but it is the subject of the new poll. We all know celebrities and politicians can be annoying, so here's your chance to exact some revenge (in your mind, at least). Whatever you do, don't take this too seriously, because a) it's supposed to be fun and b) I don't want any of you going to jail (though the headlines might be fun).

For the record (and since it's deleted now), the results of the Jean Claude Van Damme movie poll were as follows:

* Bloodsport (7 votes)
* Cyborg (5)
* Timecop (3)
* Double Impact (2)
* Lionheart (2)
* Death Warrant (1)
* Hard Target (1)

Total Votes - 21

I'm shocked that Kickboxer received no votes. Not that I like it all that much, but I know many that do.

Let's get some more votes this time around, people...
And then...

Oct 25, 2007

Survivor: China - Episode 6 Recap

Say what you will about the lame special effects and questionable moves made by the producers (I surely have), but you or I would be hard-pressed to complain that this has been a boring season of Survivor. Generally, the show holds your interest for the first two shows as you're trying to get to know who the hell these 16 (or 18 or 20) people are, but it slows down to a snail's pace up until about the time the jury is formed. In that limbo period, you kind of already know who you do or don't like, but the alliances have yet to be formed and not much wildly shocking happens.

And that hasn't necessarily happened this time, either. But I guess having such a high number of strong personalities can indeed make the show better (who'da thunk it?). That's not to say that I like them all, just that they've been hard to ignore. Whether it's been DJ Jesus (Sister Christian Leslie) ingratiating herself to everyone in the first five minutes, or Jean-Robert slowly destroying the wills of his tribe mates and the audience with his snoring and self-congratulatory speeches, or Courtney's innate ability to piss off the world with her upturned nose, a number of contestants are hard to miss (Lunchlady Land obviously excluded).

As for tonight's episode, we start off where we left off last week, with John Coffey (James) stuck in hell (aka Zhan Hu) with PG, Jamie and Erik, just waiting for them to throw another challenge and knock him out as well. But then...

At the reward challenge, the aforementioned Three Amigos of Zhan Hu got a frosty reception (horrible pun intended) from Sherrea and Frosti. Whilst running in and out of huts trying to find some knick-knacks that would help them solve a puzzle, PG attempted to sneak in some words to Sherrea, only to be met with some icy silence. Meanwhile, Frosti apparently "refused to make eye contact" with the lot of them. After losing the challenge (and seeing James kidnapped by Fei Long), the three were left back at their own camp worried about their status in the game. Their conclusion? "We MUST win this challenge!" I guess people have a short memory - throwing the challenge would still get rid of James and lessen the number of Fei Longers in the game. But that would probably make too much sense.

The reward itself looked great for the contestants (go to tea house, get fed, take showers and/or baths, look at James' ass, etc), but was wildly uneventful for us viewers. All we learned was that (!) Sad Stick Figure hates Jean-Robert. Yawn.

Upon returning from the reward, Todd was "like totally psyched" about finding the hidden immunity idol once and for all. First item of business: tell Am(Anne)da Hathaway that he has clues but like totally can't find it. Brilliant move [/sarcasm]. Next move: tell the kidnapped yet former Fei Longer James to give him the clue so they can find it and get it to James in case the Three Amigos threw another challenge. Finally, in the worst show of secrecy and slyness in the history of the game, Todd and Am(Anne)da took to the structure where it's "hidden," only to be flabbergasted when Frosti came over to help, unaware of what was hiding nearby. Long story short, they awkwardly get the idol, tell yet another person what's up (Frosti), give the idol to James, then proceed to tell Courtney and Denise what just went down. So much for being hidden. Meanwhile, James starts off the Immunity Challenge back at Zhan Hu with a weapon in his pocket. Oh, and Todd, James and the gang came to the conclusion that James should do his best to throw the challenge so that Zhan Hu goes to Tribal and James can play the idol, thus breaking up Jamie and Erik. But then...

...they got the worst of the worst Immunity Challenge. That's right - time to eat local delicacies, also known as "The Nasty Sh*t Challenge." And boy, did they outdo themselves this time. They start off nice and innocent, with some chicken hearts, followed by some eels. So far, so good, right? Not so fast - next up? Baby turtles, complete with the shell! But that's nothing compared to what James and Lunchlady Land (who I've decided is a dead ringer for Alan Ruck's sister that he never knew about) were lucky enough to eat. Their delicacy? Chicken fetuses (feti?)! Never before have dung beetles or tarantulas sounded so appetizing. Suffice it to say that the Lunchlady couldn't stomach the beaks and feathers, and James, who wanted to throw the challenge, was all but forced to finish her off, giving his team the third of four points needed. They quickly put away Fei Long.

This, somehow, left everyone upset. James, who had the immunity idol, was upset that his team won and thus, still, wouldn't be going home. Todd and gang, who were never in danger of going home, were upset that they would now have to vote off either Sherrea or Frosti. And, of course, Courtney was upset and hates Jean-Robert. Like I said - not boring. Even better yet, Sherrea and her obnoxious attitude got voted off, leaving JR there and Courtney left pouting.

I can't wait until next week.

Survivor: China homepage at CBS.com
And then...

TGITDNMAR (10/25/07)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Hear that sound? It’s crickets. I guess Halloween (and to some extent, the World Series) scares away potential moviegoers as well, what with only two major releases this week hitting theaters. And the two aren’t even high profile, to boot. Time to catch up on some smaller movies that might still be out (2 Days in Paris, perhaps?) or see one of the many that came out in the last few weeks (Michael Clayton, Elizabeth: The Golden Age, We Own the Night, Rendition, Reservation Road). That’s my plan, anyway.

Dan in Real Life
(Insert Bruce Almighty joke here.)

Steve Carell looks to jump-start his movie career after the bloated failure of his last outing. It’s hard to say if Dan looks good or not. Part of me says yes, but the other part just pretends that Ben Stiller is playing the lead role and wonders if I would think it was a heaping pile if that were the case. The truth most likely falls somewhere in the middle. Nevertheless, this has a pretty solid supporting cast helping out, including John Mahoney, Dianne Wiest and Juliette Binoche (oh, and Dane Cook, too – no comment).
Fletch’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 19%

Saw IV
Well, I really missed the boat here, having not seen the second or third installments of the latest never-dying horror franchise. Much as I loved Cary Elwes some 20 years ago in The Princess Bride, his acting in the last 15 minutes of the original was enough to make me stop watching this series. Just plain awful – I mean, he’s never been the greatest actor in the world (only good at non-American accents), but he should have been forced to change his name after that. Oh yeah – this version. I don’t really know or care much about it. Jigsaw is like back even though he died in earlier movies (I know more than I let on). Color me utterly shocked.
Fletch’s Chance of Viewing: .666%
And then...

Oct 24, 2007

Fletch's Film Review: Michael Clayton

Spending the weekend out of town and coming back to the grind with a 3 day backup of work can really wreak havoc on the whole blogging schedule. (For the record, I went to Puerto Penasco aka Rocky Point to hang out, drink beer, drink tequila, watch the Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers concert, enjoy yet another sandstorm and sit at the border for close to four and a half hours. At least the sandstorm didn't hit until the day we left.)

Anyway, I'm back and am two reviews behind schedule, the first of which, as you can tell from the title of this post, is Michael Clayton. Due to the whole "lots of work, not a lot of time" scenario, I'll attempt to keep them short and sweet, but somehow I know they'll end up being the same length as any other review I've done, thanks in no small part to rambling, incoherent prefaces such as this. On to the review...

I read this line in another review of Michael Clayton, but it's good enough that it warrants my blatant stealing and reprinting here (I believe it was in the Phoenix New Times, so I'm even crediting my source): Clayton is the best John Grisham film adaptation ever. Only problem is, it's not a Grisham story. It would also be well described as Syriana meets The Firm, as it leans heavily on themes from both, though never feels too much like either.

The narrative has a lot of nuances and side plots, but generally biols down to this: Michael Clayton (George Clooney) is a "fixer" at a big honkin' law firm. Said law firm has as a client some generically named "environmental" company (Westfield? Chesterfield? UnitedNorth? Who can remember?) that may or may not be up to some improprieties (bet on "yes"). When the proverbial turd hits the ceiling, in the form of the firm's star litigator going a bit bonkers, Clayton is brought in to fix the situation, get their client off the hook, ensure that millions of dollars continue to flow, save his child, restore the ozone layer and bake a mean cake. Or something like that. But then those morality questions keep nagging like a fly at a picnic. What if his firm's client really is guilty? Is the litigator so insane that he's actually the sanest of them all? Is being a compulsive gambler and having a the debt of a failed restaurant venture enough to make Clayton compromise himself to save his ass, and the collective asses of his firm? Can I stop using lame, cliched writing conventions?

For the type of film it is (legal thriller), writer/director Tony Gilroy nails it. There's only so much weight that can be granted a film of this genre (even with the environmental issues brought forth), but this, like Fracture and Breach from earlier this year, plays to its strengths (namely strong writing, a well-rounded cast bringing their A-game and solid but not flashy directing) and plays them often. Clooney, as I had anticipated, is refreshing in a mood (defeated, pissed off) not normally played by him (though Syriana does come to mind). Tilda Swinton is underused and underutilized but definitely serves her purpose in classing up the joint, as Sydney Pollack and Tom Wilkinson do as well. The real coup, though? Michael O'Keefe, Danny Noonan himself, has a decent-sized role as one of the partners in the firm, and an a**hole-ish one at that.

"I like you, Betty."

Fletch's Film Rating:

"Darn tootin!"
And then...

Oct 23, 2007

Familiar Face, Unknown Name #1 - Taylor Negron

Call them what you want - character actors, "That Guy(s)," scene stealers - I don't care. Not long ago, I did a feature on some of my favorite current iterations of these people (the guy who played Steve the Pirate in Dodgeball aka Alan Tudyk, that guy who played the "snozzberries" kid in Supertroopers aka Geoffrey Arend, etc.), but I wanted to create a regular feature where I spotlight one performer, whether they be longtime veterans on Hollywood (like J.K. Simmons or Barry Corbin) or a fresher face just making their way up the stardom ranks. I have an unconscious habit of mentally filing these people away in my brain and can recite their names/roles at a somewhat encyclopedic level, sometimes to the annoyance of friends or family. I can't help it - I like these people, and their inclusion in any movie or TV show typically makes it a better experience (who doesn't love Stephen Tobolowsky??). Now, I'm going to do my part to help the rest of the world get to know them as well.

Today's Familiar Face-Unknown Name:


Taylor Negron

Where You've Seen Him (high profile): played one of the main villains in The Last Boy Scout; as the bitter pizza delivery guy in Fast Times at Ridgemont High; doing odd jobs in Better Off Dead and One Crazy Summer.

Where You've Seen Him (not-so-high profile): was Elaine's hairdresser in "The Smelly Car" episode of Seinfeld ("Tomato sauce"); played a snooty waiter in a recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm; has guested on just about every TV sitcom and drama over the last 15 years (ER, Nash Bridges, Reno 911, The Pretender, Party of Five, Grace Under Fire).

Character Specialties: Fey and/or slimy villains; quirky bit players; can pull off a variety of accents

Little Known Fact: Via Wikipedia: Negron runs a website at which, among other things, you can rent Negron's house in France. Also, he is the first cousin of Chuck Negron of Three Dog Night. He is of Puerto Rican and Jewish ancestry.

Personal Site: http://www.taylornegron.com/
On IMDb: http://imdb.com/name/nm0624510/
And then...

Oct 18, 2007

Survivor: China - Episode 5 Recap

CBS doesn't want us to watch Survivor anymore. That's the message I'm getting loud and clear. First, they did the stupid freeze frame during the immunity challenge a few weeks ago. Then last week, they topped themselves with the whish-whoosh effect as the ballchucks were being thrown during a challenge. But this week they went beyond special effects during challenges and just decided to ruin the integrity of the game (at least, whatever integrity was there). I'm pissed, the contestants are pissed (some of them, anyway) and you should be pissed, too.

But more on that later.

We start off with a happy Zhan Hu tribe, having ridded themselves of jackass superleader Dave (Occupation: Former Model) at the previous Tribal Council - now all they needed to do was dump lazy, whining Sherrea and the remaining four (Musicial Virgin Erik, Horse Teeth, PG-13 and Frosti aka the Asian Freddy Rodriguez) would be, if not a strong tribe, at least a happy one.

The same couldn't be said for the folks over at Fei Long. Jean-Robert (not French) seems to be the bane of everyone's existence over there, with his "be lazy first and work hard later" strategy not exactly paying dividends just yet. Sad Stick Figure wants him out and Lunchlady Land isn't a fan, either. Looks like they better keep winning. In the meantime, though, John Coffey drops a bombshell on us by proclaiming his would-be love for Lunchlady Land (?!?!?!), stating "If she were younger or I were older, she'd have to watch out." James is many things, being particular is apparently not one of them.

But then! Big news is afoot. A boat arrives on each shore; a messenger appears and delivers a note. Each tribe is instructed to identify the "two best warriors" from the other tribe that they would like to kidnap and make a part of their tribe. Fei Long identifies Frosti and Sherrea, and immediately they know that James and (most likely) Johhny Utah are sure to be snatched form their side. Zhan Hu, meanwhile, naturally identifies James and Aaron, followed by each and every one of them celebrating their good fortune. Having started the episode with a 5-7 deficiency, they can't believe that the odds are turning in their favor. Now they will have a 7-5 advantage. "Lucky us!"

Oops. Uh, no - that's not how it works. So with James/Aaron and Frosti/Sherrea now switched, the game is set to begin.

After a lot of get-to-know-ya stuff on either tribe, followed by some verbal beatdowns of Jean-Robert by the other Fei Longers, the bomb drops. PG-13 unveils her plan to Horse Teeth - she figures if they throw the Immunity Challenge(s) and systematically vote out Aaron and James, if and when the tribes merge (at 10, they assume), the sides will be even again, with 5 original Fei Longers and 5 Zhan Hus remaining. Musical Virgin Erik is not told of the plan.

Fast forward to the Immunity Challenge. Long story short, the girls not only throw the challenge, but do so in the least convincing manner possible. Jeff Probst, either through being pretty observant or form having watched video prior to the challenge, picks up on the funny business, as you can hear the derision in his voice. PG, Jamie and James work the second half, which consists of them putting 12 discs in place on a platform (puzzle). PG, who had just hours earlier claimed of her fondness and affinity for puzzles, gives a performance worse than a mentally challenged fourth-grader. Both girls are visibly amused, and James is borderline livid. They lose horribly.

Back at camp, Aaron and James are upset, but aren't fully aware of what's happened. they deploy Erik to find out "what's up." Jamie informs him of what just went down, and while he's not pleased with losing on purpose, he's too smitten with Horse Teeth to really care. He's just along for the ride (and maybe some deflowering). James, on the other hand, is livid, and rightfully so.

(Start rant)

It's one thing to introduce hidden immunity idols and exile islands and even the atrocity of the "outcasts" from a few seasons back, but this was too much. The show instructs the tribes to cherrypick (more or less) the two best players from the other tribe, then sets them up for immediate failure. I'm not even a contestant and I'm pissed. I know neither life nor the game is fair, but this is ridiculous. Give them immunity for the first council or something! At the very least, they could have set up the worst players on each tribe for failure - James, Aaron, Frosti and even Sherrea deserved better. All the while, SSF gets to skate by while not even competing in any of the challenges. Way to screw over "the best," and the audience as well.

(End rant)

Aaron ends up the sacrificial lamb, due in no small part to James's yeoman-like effort around camp. He'll be lucky to last three more days, though, as he'll no doubt have to win the next challenge all by himself - if he doesn't get kicked off for having killed his tribe mates first, that is.

What a crock.

Survivor: China homepage at CBS.com
And then...

TGITDNMAR (10/19/07)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

It's a one step forward/two steps back week in movies, as the releases this week aren't exactly August-level bad, but there's certainly nothing coming out that has a ton of buzz or is being anticipated by anyone in particular. It does mark the second week in a row that a Joaquin Phoenix movie is being released, for whatever that's worth...


30 Days of Night
Alaska. Zombie-vampire things. Josh Hartnett. Meh.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 1%







Things We Lost in the Fire
Benicio lives! Seriously, the guy really ought to take an extra project a year or month. With his last appearance being in a bit part in 2005's Sin City, Del Toro returns to the cineplex as a guy helping Halle Berry and her kids out after they lose their father/husband (David Duchovny). In all honesty, the trailer makes the film look pretty awful, but I think that has more to do with it being a hard-to-market film more than anything else. It's getting decent buzz, and has a solid cast (Alison Lohman and veteran That Guy John Carroll Lynch co-star).
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 39%


Rendition
Or, A Mighty Syriana. Reese Witherspoon, Jake Gyllenhaal, Peter Saarsgard, Alan Arkin, Meryl Streep and many more star in this story of a husband falsely (or is he?) imprisoned and the wife out to find out what happened, where he is, who's in charge and who's on first. "Give me back my son!!" Or something like that.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 43%


Gone Baby Gone
All hail Benaflek! That's what Hollywood seems to be doing, praising the fact that Ben has decided not to step in front of the camera anymore (or at least for the time being). Affleck directs his brother, Morgan Freeman and Ed Harris in a crime drama (surrounding a missing child) that takes place in Boston. Sound familiar? Yup, it's based on a Dennis Lehane novel, just like Mystic River was. Hey Dennis - branch out a little bit, huh?
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 26%


The Comebacks
As this has been a weak stretch for comedies, if not a weak year altogether (let's see - we had Knocked Up, Superbad, and...uh...The Heartbreak Kid?), if there's a chance that The Comebacks is halfway decent, it could make for some nice counter programming to all the uber-serious fare that's out there currently. David Koechner finally gets to expand on his performance as Champ Kind in this tale of a bunch of rag-tag losers at football. The supporting cast is mostly filled with no-names and who-dats, but any film with Carl Weathers is alright in my book. Joey ("Whoa! Look at my shaved head, whoa!") Lawrence's little brother Matthew appear as well.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 18%


Reservation Road
Finally, the breakout role we've all been waiting for! Elle Fanning, Dakota's little sister gets her big break here, playing one of Joaquin Phoenix's and Jennifer Connelly's kids. Ok, maybe that's not big news. Anyway, Road is more or less about a hit-and-run, and the impact on all of the people affected. Looks like it's good, but heartbreaking. See it with In the Valley of Elah for a "suicide-inducing double-feature."
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 30%
And then...

Oct 16, 2007

So Angela Lansbury and I were hanging out the other day...

Wait, that's not true at all. (Please don't spread that rumor.)

Just a self-congratulatory post for me and Angela, as we each celebrate our birthdays today. Also amongst the celeb b-days today?

* Tim Robbins
* Flea (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
* Kellie Martin (Life Goes On; I'd rather it was Corky)
* John Mayer (musician)
* Wendy Phillips (WilsonPhillips! F*ck yeah!!!)
* Manute Bol (7'6" former NBA player)
* Barry Corbin (Northern Exposure)
* Paul Kariya (one of the 12 NHL players I can still name)
* Sue Bird (one of the 6 WNBA players I can name)
* a bunch of other people that I don't care about.

Thanks to Wikipedia for that list. Thanks to some humor site for the Bruce Lee pic. Thanks to my parents for giving birth to me. Thanks to my wife and the rest of you readers for reading this here website.

Regular posting resumes tomorrow.
And then...

Oct 15, 2007

Fletch's Film Review: The Darjeeling Limited

They say that familiarity breeds contempt.

I wouldn't go that far when describing Wes Anderson's fifth feature, The Darjeeling Limited, but I will say that familiarity, with not only Anderson's style but with his repertoire of actors, breeds...well, exactly the feeling that Anderson's films usually give me: nostalgic melancholy (or is that melancholic nostalgia?).

This is all a long way of saying two things. First, that, Anderson needs to branch out or change some things up lest he be deemed irrelevant in the near future, and second, that the audience's familiarity with Owen Wilson (and his suicide attempt), star or co-star in four of the five Anderson features, lends a certain sadness to the film, not to mention serving as a giant distraction.

Primarily, though, it's that Limited feels as though it's been done before, and by Anderson. Personally, I love the group of actors (and the choice of music Anderson uses) that includes Jason Schwartzman, both Wilson brothers, Bill Murray, Anjelica Huston, et al, but when so many of them are together (and even sharing some of the same dynamics from the earlier films), Darjeeling is put in a handicap prior to the first frame being shown. Toss in a few slow-motion "meaningful" walking/running scenes set to early punk/Britpop, and you have the recipe for a film that looks a lot like something you've already seen. (However, at the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, I must add that this outing felt a bit minimalist, almost like Anderson-lite, and could have benefited from more of his signature obsessive attention-to-detail. There are a few instances here, like the father's luggage that is fought over by the three brothers, but that's about it.)

Despite the way this must sound, I did enjoy The Darjeeling Limited and would like to see it again. However lacking it may be in originality and story (there isn't much of one), it makes up for it in a number of ways, from the writing to the setting to the likability and charm of its three stars (Brody is a welcome addition, though isn't given much to work with). Additionally, there are some surprises - Wilson's real life events notwithstanding, there is a heavier emphasis on emotion, manifested mostly in an extended sequence involving an out-of-nowhere tragedy and a flashback showing the brothers prior to their estrangement.

In the end, though, your familiarity with Anderson's work with probably most reflect your take on Darjeeling. Namely, the more you've seen (and presumably liked), the more disappointed you'll be this time. Conversely, if you're a relative newcomer, you just might notice more than a grizzled veteran would, as we are no doubt somewhat immune to his filmmaking wizardry. And if you never liked his work before? Well, you probably won't like this, either.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."
And then...

Oct 12, 2007

Survivor: China - Episode 4 Recap

Though the show has yet to get to the especially interesting portion, where the contestants allegiances are truly formed and solidified, episode four seemed to be a turning point, at least for me. This is the one where I was finally able to put just about all the names to the faces, as well as halfway recall what the tribe names are (Fey Long and Zhan Hu, right?). Though I still don't know which name belongs to which group of players. Still, I'm feeling some progress has been made.

We start out with Jean-Robert being Jean-Robert - namely, pissing off his tribe mates, however inadvertently. Sad Stick Figure Courtney (SSF) got her size 0 panties in a bunch when the evil giant attempted to stop her from scalding herself and dared to raise his voice in her general direction. Obviously, she's worried that noises above 65 decibels will shatter her bones and/or cause her skin to be obliterated. She really is endearing us all to her, isn't she?

Meanwhile, over at Crouching Tiger, Dave (Occupation: Former Model), obviously sad that all the people he fights with are gone, decides to get into it with Diarrhea, er, Sherrea. Oops - Sherrea's chest doesn't like being yelled at, and she went off on Dave, almost bringing him to tears as she threatened to "throw away" some seashells he was saving for his mommy. No, seriously (except for the tears part). Frosti (who it hits me is the Asian Freddy Rodriguez, right down to their shared diminutive status) manages to put an end to the situation quietly, sparing us all from more annoying jackassery from Dave.

Abruptly, we're taken to the reward challenge, which is being hosted by the Tribal Council Mansion (why, we're never told). It's a pretty creative and new challenge for the game, as the tribes have to use "giant chopsticks" to pick up and carry a flaming ball about twenty feet to some little pot where the ball will ignite some fireworks. Sure, it's a bit much, but the agility, concentration and teamwork needed make for a great challenge. Team Dave manages to lose yet again, and the Model himself is kidnapped by the winners. I can't help but laugh as Sherrea, PG et al are visibly pleased to see their Fearless Leader gone for a day.

The prize for the winning tribe was a visit from an authentic Chinese family (read: actors from LA) who would teach them how to fish and cook the way they used to in the olden days - namely, with their gas-powered fishing boat and a team of enslaved birds (more on this in a bit). Funny thing is, being Chinese and all, they don't speak much English. Chicken would probably say "DAMN!" when he learned what happened next. Jean-Robert (not French but apparently Chinese) starts chatting up the family as if he just flew in from Hong Kong. Via testimonial, JR informs us that, as a child, he spent some time in Taiwan and that the words are just coming back to him and that he more or less barely remembered that he spoke Chinese. Uh huh. Sure, dude. You're a contestant on a show called Survivor: CHINA and you kinda sorta forgot that you spoke the native language? I call your bluff, poker man.

Either way, this knowledge turns JR into a mini-celebrity around his camp, as he is able to do what looks to be an excellent job translating and speaking to the fam. As part of their visit, the paid actors take two tribe members (Johnny Utah and Lunchlady Land) out on their speedboat. Two interesting things happen here. First, the fishing technique includes bringing along 8 or so birds (not sure what type) that have been trained to do the fishing for them. They put some sort of contraption in their mouths, tie them to the boat and set them free in the water. The birds then swim down, find some little fish and then come back up to the boat, where they are then essentially forced to regurgitate the still-intact fish into the boat. Gross, but genius (and the fish will still be de-scaled and gutted, anyway). The other big news? Lunchlady Land speaks! She pretty much says some unintelligible lunchlady stuff in what sounds like a heavy Bahstan accent, but who knows or cares - I'm just glad she was allowed to speak.

Meanwhile, over at Team Drama, Diarrhea manages to destroy all brownie points that she had earned via her virtual bitch-slapping of Dave by doing her best Jean-Robert impersonation. Glad as the tribe is to not be berated or commanded every five minutes, the other four mates still bring themselves to work. Sherrea, however, can't be bothered with such troubles as food, fire and water, instead spending the day "saving herself for the challenge." But if I had to choose one tribe mate to spend all day watching me work, it just might be her.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE time! It's ACTION PACKED! It's LIFE THREATENING! It's --

Wait a sec. Sure, the immunity challenges are pretty damn important in the grand scheme of the game. That said, I don't know what has gotten into the heads of the producers. Apparently, they watched last week's episode that included the uber-lame freeze frames and thought "Sh*t, that's nothing! We can top that cheesiness with our eyes closed!" And that they did.

The challenge is a bit hard to explain. It was a series of 2-on-2 sequences in which the contestants were given "armor for their protection" as each team was given some bamboo sticks and 3 sets of nunchucky-ball things (not sure what they're called, but think of two baseballs tied together by about 2 feet of rope). The object was to swing and hurl the basechucks in the direction of the other tribe's players, over their heads (or between them) and break some vases that were behind them. The bamboo sticks were for blocking throws from the other team. All well and good so far, right?

Let the shark jumping begin (I know, outdated in its own right). When one or another team had a successful throw, some absolutely GAWDAWFUL special effect was used to "slow down" the projection of the ballchucks prior to them breaking the vase(s). Any description really can't do it justice, but it's safe to say that it was the dumbest thing I've seen in 15 season of this show, and there's been a lot of dumb things over that time. Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but it's a reality show. Leave the lame effects to cheesy sci-fi movies, ok?

Long story short, Team Dave lost again (John Coffey dominated...again). Back at camp, there was much discussion over who to get rid of - Dave or Diarrhea. Both were deserving in their own right. The sad thing is, lost amongst the drama caused by the obnoxious Dave, Ashley and Sherrea over the last few weeks is the fact that the remaining four (Frosti Freddy, Horse Teeth, PG and Musician Erik) all seem like very likable, pretty smart people. And now that they voted off Dave (together now..."Awwww!"), we're one more loss from the four of them being alone.

Next week: Horse Teeth and Virgin (?!?!) Musician Erik feel some sparks. Somewhere, Leslie is preaching abstinence.

Survivor: China homepage at CBS.com
And then...

Oct 11, 2007

TGITDNMAR (10/12/07)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released. Again, for those that might have missed it, the official name will not be changing, but at least until Survivor finishes its season, consider this feature TGITDBNMAR, with the "B" standing for "Before." Rather than cramming for two Friday features, I've moved TGITDNMAR to Thursdays.

At long last, the fall movie season officially begins this week, as there are (potentially) high quality major releases (that's plural) coming out Friday. Big name stars, not-so-big-name directors - oh well, you can't have it all, I guess.

We Own the Night
Attention marketers of this film: "I'm done wichyou!" I'll pardon you if you haven't been subjected to the ads for this movie nearly as much as I have, but I'm sick to death of it before it even hits a theater. (It being the sole sponsor for an NBC.com-watched episode of Heroes didn't help, as I had to watch the same ad again and again.)

Anyway, Mark Wahlberg apparently liked his role in The Departed so much that he decided to do it again. Oh wait - this one takes place in New York, not Boston, and his friend/adversary this time out is his character's brother. I was way off base. The casting of the always great Joaquin Phoenix, Robert Duvall and Eva Mendes give this film a solid cast, but it just doesn't look that great. Also not helping matters (for me at least) is that it looks to be set in the mid-to-late 80s. I don't want to see Hill Street Blues mixed with The Godfather, thank you very much.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 19%


Why Did I Get Married?
Consider me shocked that the title of this flick doesn't start out with "Tyler Perry's..." as it seems all of his other films have. Perry is nothing if not a great businessman, but his recent feature in Entertainment Weekly paints him simultaneously as an inspirational Hollywood outsider and as a whining ninny, what with his constant bitching about not being asked to star in roles that might usually go to Denzel. Uh, Tyler - your flicks might have made a ton of money, but I don't think you have a rep as some sort of great actor. Writer, producer? Perhaps - but "starring alongside Adam Sandler in a buddy comedy?" That might not seem like that lofty a position, but just saying you want to do something doesn't mean you deserve to or will do it. On that note, I'd like to be paid handsomely to write reviews and other movie-related content for Premiere or The Akron Times. Oh wait...
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 0%


Elizabeth: The Golden Age
I have yet to see the first Elizabeth, but I plan on seeing both it and this sequel very soon. Blanchett has earned her title as one of the best actresses of today, and the trailer for this looks pretty awesome, if I do say so. Clive Owen is also prominently involved, and any film with either Geoffrey Rush or Samantha Morton is one that I'm probably interested in seeing.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 92%


Michael Clayton
Though I'm not too hot on the title (for some reason it simultaneously reminds me of John Travolta's Michael and A Civil Action - not good), and I get a feeling that despite the strong cast that it won't be excellent, I'm still up for seeing this. I'm a big fan of Clooney, and it ought to be nice to see him pissed off (a la Syriana), as he's often playing nice guy/happy-go-lucky characters a bit too often (though he does it well). This is director Tony Gilroy's first feature, after having written, amongst other things, two of the Bourne films and the good/bad The Devil's Advocate. Considering the Erin Brockovich-like story and Clooney's involvement, I'm surprised Steven Soderbergh isn't the director here. Oh well.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 67%


Lars and the Real Girl
Ok, this movie about a man who hooks with a blow-up doll (or something) actually sounds pretty terrible. But it's got Ryan Gosling in it! In a short period of time, Gosling has proven to be one of the best and most interesting actors of his generation, and I'm willing to give him a mulligan (or at least the benefit of the doubt) and check this out. Director Craig Gillespie was prominently involved in the making of Mr. Woodcock - warrants mentioning.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 26%
And then...

Oct 10, 2007

Dystopian Dichotomy

The other day, I came across a list of the "Top 50 Dsytopian Movies of All Time." It's a well done list overall, though there are many quibbles by the nearly 300 commenters over the loose use of the term "dystopia" to describe some of the films mentioned (Pleasantville probably got the most "WTFs?") and the choices of some of the other films.

Now, a dystopia is essentially defined as the opposite of utopia, but can also be described as a utopia with a fatal flaw. Regardless of whether or not all the films fully qualify, it's still a quality list. Though it's missing one (that just happens to be on TV at the time of this writing. Inspiration!). Only one of the 280 commenters (at the time of this writing) bothered to mention it, and even then he was half-joking. I say nay! Freejack belongs.

In case you're not wildly familiar with it, Freejack is a 1992 film starring Emilio Estevez, Anthony Hopkins, Renee Russo, and Mick Jagger. The dichotomy in the title of this post refers to the fact that this is probably Tony Hopkins worst film, but Emilio's best (I say that half-joking and with love, as well). Though it's nowhere near the realm of "good bad" movies like Bloodsport or Roadhouse, it's also a pretty lo-fi, low budget version of what could have been a great sci-fi flick. Believe it or not, Mick Jagger even does a splendid job as the bounty hunter on Emilio's tail.

The story, if you're not aware, goes something like this (from Wikipedia, and contains spoilers):

"In the 21st century, time travel technology allows people to be snatched from the past just prior to the time of their certain demise. The live bodies, called "freejacks," are then sold to the highest bidder as a host for his/her consciousness, as they are considered already dead and thus have no human rights.

Alex Furlong, played by Emilio Estevez, is a formula car racer who is apparently killed during a race in 1991. However, his body is brought 18 years into the future to 2009, where he manages to escape prior to a mind transfer into his body. Victor Vacendak, played by Mick Jagger, is a hardened security officer contracting for the McCandless Corporation who tries to recapture Furlong. Alex's former fiancée Julie, played by Rene Russo, is now an executive at McCandless.

The remainder of the film concerns Alex's survival in the world of the future, eluding capture by the persistent Victor, and his attempt to revive his relationship with Julie. Ian McCandless, Julie's boss, played by Anthony Hopkins, is revealed to be the dying man trying to steal Furlong's body as he himself died on a business trip out of town."

First off, I love that it only goes in time 18 years, to a scant two years from where we currently reside. This is an awful thing that many futuristic films do - the same thing was done in Demolition Man, amongst others. Do the writers really expect technology to jump forward that much in that short a time? Unfortunately, it's a necessary evil here, as Russo is still playing Estevez's love interest - her character would just happen to be old enough to be his mother in "the future," but it might be a bit odd if they jumped 40 years and there was suddenly a 25 year old guy having the hots for what could be his grandmother. But I digress...

Bad as some of the acting (the always-somewhat-awful-but-still-enjoyable Jonathan Banks, for starters) and effects are, I can't help but enjoy and recommend this movie. Any time you have Russo still slumming, Hopkins not yet a prestige name and appearances by Buster Poindexter and Amanda Plummer, combined with a very Phillip K. Dick-like story, you're bound to have a winner.
And then...

Oct 9, 2007

Fletch's Film Review: In the Valley of Elah

I wouldn't blame you for not recognizing the face to your left, notwithstanding the title of this post. Tommy Lee Jones wasn't particularly famous in his youth, making his way through guest spots on TV shows all through the 70s (Barnaby Jones, Baretta, Charlie's Angels) until a breakout performance in Coal Miner's Daughter put him on the map (I'm guessing; after all, I was only 4 years old at the time). Still, it was TV work through the 80s as well, though his performance in the epic (and star-studded) Lonesome Dove mini-series in 1989 made him a burgeoning star.

Since then, Jones has been a fixture on movie screens, alternating between star turns (The Fugitive, Men in Black) and guest roles (Batman Forever, Natural Born Killers) in a wide variety of genres, playing an even wider array of types. Over the last 15 years, he's garnered a reputation as a modern-day version of an old school Western hero - tough as nails, a man of few words and strong actions. His dry, laconic way of speaking worked well in a straight action pic like The Fugitive and just as well in the black-humor tinged Men in Black series.

Despite the rep, the man is capable of diversity; witness his over-the-top performance in one of the only Steven Seagal films worthy of watching (Under Siege), and his turn in the horrific Batman sequel as evidence. In the Valley of Elah provides a much more compelling case, as well as one that ought to be remembered come awards season.

Jones stars as Hank Deerfield, a retired Vietnam veteran, husband to Susan Sarandon's Joan and father to two sons, each of who likewise joined the Armed Forces. The film opens with Jones getting a call stating that his formerly deployed-in-Iraq son (whose troop is now stateside) has gone AWOL in the States. As we later learn, Hank and Joan's first son was shot down while serving his country; with this knowledge in tow, Hank takes it upon himself to drive from Tennessee to New Mexico to find his youngest child.

From there, the film is equal parts detective show and political commentary. "Inspired" by the actual story of Iraq war veteran Richard Davis and his father Lanny, writer/director Paul Haggis manages to be both subtle and blunt simultaneously in his observations and criticism of not just the current war (as most press surrounding this film will have you believe) but of the Armed Forces in general. The questions asked in the film are mostly ones that can't be spoken without spoiling the story, but suffice it to say that they focus on the psychological drama/trauma of being a soldier, the things that our country asks our soldiers to do, and the ramifications of those actions.

By having Jones' character be a Vietnam veteran in the film (Davis was an MP), Haggis is able to put us in the shoes of someone who might be your stereotypical flag-waving patriot, right down to the detailed habits still stuck with the 50-something (shining shoes, neatly making his hotel bed, etc.). That said, a glaring error in the film is what is not spoken: namely, many of the things that are being painted as horrific actions done by Americans soldiers in Iraq are the same types of things that happened in Vietnam. Whereas many might use this film as ammunition against the Bush administration (his voice is heard in the background giving speeches on a few occasions), I saw it as a pointed finger at the military in general.

Though actors are often awarded for showy performances, it's often true that the best acting comes with what's not said, and that is entirely the case here. Both Jones and Sarandon (underused but still excellent, and surprise surprise to see Susan in an anti-war film) seem to say fewer words than the minutes they appear onscreen for. Charlize Theron, as a detective who gets a bit too close to the case, is given some of the meatier work, and she is terrific as well. Jason Patric (where ya been?), Josh Brolin, James Franco (in a bit part), That Guy Barry Corbin and a number of lesser-known actors fill out the impressive ensemble cast. (Kudos as well to the 55 year old Frances Fisher for playing a strip club - Kathy Bates and Diane Keaton, eat your hearts out.)

Despite a few Scooby-Doo moments in the solving of the case (no doubt embellished to a degree), the detective aspect of the film works, as Jones essentially makes both the local police (Theron included) and the military police look like amateurs. Whereas Haggis' Crash felt contrived with its connections at times, Elah rarely feels anything less than real, and powerful. It's a heartbreaking, depressing, political drama - surely not a popcorn film, but one that should definitely be seen.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"It's in the hole!"
And then...

Oct 8, 2007

Does he look like a bitch?

You know how some websites have those cheesy graphics with the text saying "Please pardon our dust" or something like that?

Well, do that for me now. I've added the above widget, and don't want to get rid of it, but have yet how to figure out how to configure it so that it's not horrifically ugly. Give me a couple days and it will either be fixed or gone. Until then, enjoy the practical usage of it and read the top five posts, or I might have to sic Jules Winfield on you.

UPDATE: Disregard. I couldn't get it to work the way I wanted to, so it has been scrapped for now. Maybe later...
And then...

Oct 4, 2007

Survivor: China - Episode 3 Recap

One of two things is happening. Either the producers of Survivor are losing their edge, or I'm really slow and just picking up on the show's rabid predictability. Maybe they've done this all along and I've never noticed, but something about the pre-credits sequence told me immediately that the tribe that was featured (Crouching Tiger, aka whichever team had won the last two weeks) would be the one that lost the challenge. I said it aloud immediately, and (spoiler alert!) I was right.

Speaking of Crouching Tiger, I realize that they are trying to pay tribute to the locale when naming the tribe's, but couldn't they have come up with easier to remember names? I can probably name most of the castaways at this point, but have no clue what the tribe's names are (Fey Long? Who Dat? Who Cares?).

Anyway, on to the game. The aforementioned initial sequence centered on Jean-Robert (not French) and his oh-so-annoying habits around camp, chief of which is his hibernating-bear-like snoring. Waaa. Sure, the guy is lazy and obnoxious, but snoring is a major plot point and a reason to vote someone out? (Sad Stick Figure Courtney actually cited this reason when writing her vote.) Please.

The theme for much of the rest of the episode was "more of the same." Next up was a trip to the Hidden Dragon camp (Dave, PG, et al), where we were treated yet again to SUPERGENIUS Dave (Occupation: Former Model) having to endure the never ending stoopidity of his tribe mates as he was forced to "do everything myself, 'cause it's easier than explaining it to you idiots" (as always, I'm paraphrasing when quoting). What an obnoxious ass. I don't care if he works harder than Paul Bunyan, this guy is as pompous as they come and would get my vote if he were on my tribe.

More of the same at the Reward Challenge, as it focused on brute strength (throw the other team off a boat, more or less) and John Coffey (James) dominated as usual - to an almost comedic effect, even. However, as the challenge was split into men vs. men and women vs. women, with the women going first in a best-of-five, the Hidden Dragon team prevailed. Also: Former Model stripped down to his birthday suit, though it wasn't necessarily out of vanity - it was a misguided and ultimately unsuccessful ploy to keep people from having anything to grab onto.

As winners of the challenge, Hidden Dragon got to steal a member of the other tribe - they chose DJ Jesus, heretofore known as Sister Christian (as she was called by some of her Crouching Tiger mates - I really wish I'd thought of that first). She was thrilled to go over to such a happy camp, as it was filled with other Christians and had "a really good vibe. They all get along really well." Ha! Apparently, Former Model Dave (who told her he wouldn't swear) was really on his best behavior, because from what we've seen so far, the Dragons are in a constant state of tension (thanks to Dave), while the Tigers seem much more at ease (save for Jean-Robert). Either way, they fooled her and she shared secrets about her tribe. She then returned the favor that Horse Teeth (forgot her name - Jamie?) gave her last week and gave her the clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol.

Things really got funny at the Immunity Challenge, though. Since the Tigers had sat out "munchkins" Stewardess Todd and Sad Stick Figure (SSF) in the Reward Challenge, they were forced to play here. The challenge started with four tribe mates chopping at some wood (one at a time) to get to some rope, then chop the ropes and so on. After all that was done and there were four sets of puzzle pieces retrieved, the remaining two members would have to complete the puzzle and then drag their constructed puzzle across the finish line.

Right off the bat, the Tigers send out SSF to chop at her post. Oops. As she has 0% muscle to go along with her 0% body fat, SSF struggles so mightily that the Dragons nearly finish the challenge before she gets to a rope. I highly recommend tracking down the video and watching this. Apparently, the sword she was wielding weighed more than she did, as the hacks she was attempting could have been bested by a 5-year old, to be sure. More hilarity was granted to us as the producers decided to do a split-second freeze frame right as each contestant chopped at their rope. High comedy and very lame.

So, the Dragons won their first immunity challenge. Dave lives to see a few more days. Back at the losing camp, much discussion was made over whether to get rid of Jean-Robert, SSF or Sister Christian. Sadly, we heard from just about everyone there except for Lunchlady Land, as I guess the producers are embarrassed for having put her on the show. Poor thing. At Tribal Council, the Tigers vote off Sister Christian. Damn, I'll never get to know what she thinks of Todd.

Survivor: China homepage at CBS.com
And then...

TGITDNMAR (10/5/07)

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Well, the official name will not be changing, but at least until Survivor finishes its season, consider this feature TGITDBNMAR, with the "B" standing for "Before." Rather than try to pound out two features on Friday, I figured it couldn't hurt much to move this up a day. Don't get too excited.

As for this week, I'm left flabbergasted again at the lack of quality films being released; that's compounded this time out by the lack of quantity, as just two large scale releases hit theaters tomorrow. I guess that counts as progress, right?

The Seeker: The Dark is Rising
Look! A Harry Potter clone. Oh wait, no one cares. This film is noticeable for...um...co-starring two vets of HBO shows in Ian McShane (Deadwood) and Frances Conroy (Six Feet Under) and for...well, the director (David L. Cunningham) worked on last year's The Path to 9/11, a TV movie that caused quite a stir. Aside from that...I got nothing. Watch it come and go from theaters in record time.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%


The Heartbreak Kid
I've been mulling over doing a "Build 'em up, Tear 'em down" post for Ben Stiller recently, as I'm just so turned off by the guy these days. Here's a mini one:

Ben Stiller was fresh and funny once upon a time, as he broke onto the scene with his eponymous TV show and later with Reality Bites. For the next few years, his breakout continued, with varied roles in under seen quality movies such as Zero Effect, Your Friends and Neighbors and Permanent Midnight, along with star turns in the wildly successful There's Something About Mary and the hit-and-miss Mystery Men (which I appreciate but don't confuse with being great). The next two year's were Stiller's best, with Keeping the Faith (very good), Meet the Parents (decent, but a big commercial hit), Zoolander (probably his funniest film after Mary, if not before it) and The Royal Tenenbaums.

Since then? Crap on a stick, with an occasional halfway decent film (Dodgeball, a nice diversion as the diminutive Ben plays a bodybuilding bully) thrown in. But mostly, it's been a sh*t parade, what with Duplex, Envy, Along Came Polly, et al. The Heartbreak Kid teams Ben back up with the directors (Farrellys) that made him a star, but judging by the previews, it looks no better than anything else he's done in the last five years.

Ben - you MUST have enough money by now. Do a good film already, or be destined to have a Steve Guttenberg-level of success in about eight years.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 5%
And then...

Oct 3, 2007

Fletch's Film Review: Eastern Promises

Every once in a while, I'll see a great film that leaves me more or less speechless. This isn't some gasp over how great it is or due to shock or anything, but for whatever reason, it just doesn't leave me overflowing with criticism (in the general sense). This may be a lacking on my part to be able to successfully apply critical thinking to all mediums and articles, or perhaps it's a flaw in the film that it just doesn't give you much material in terms of theme or tone. Or maybe it's just because sometimes I'm content admiring the quiet beauty that comes with watching Patrick Swayze perform martial artsy yoga in Roadhouse.

Eastern Promises is one of these films that leaves me lacking a response. To be sure, it's very good, if not great. It demonstrates the power of loyalty, brotherhood, family, motherhood and a myriad of other topics that have been covered by many a mob picture before it. The fresh part this time, as simple as it is, is that it centers on a Russian family that resides in London. That alone is enough to get my attention, as we North Americans can be pounded over the head only so many times by all of the films/TV shows about New York/Chicago/Philly Italian mafia families (or Boston Irish ones, trying to catch up).

Separate from that are a number of strong, if quiet, performances given by the cast, with character-actors-trapped-in-star-bodies Viggo Mortensen and Naomi Watts leading the way. Mortensen is all but unrecognizable as anything but this Russian mobster - Viggo has clearly entered the Daniel Day-Lewis level of acting, in terms of skill and immersion into a character. However, you'll get no "Hoo-ah!" speeches or any other look-at-me moments (you'll get to see plenty of him anyway during the now infamous bathhouse scene); instead, you'll often be forced to pay close attention to what he's saying, lest you miss anything. Outside of the Fredo-ish character played by Vincent Cassel, the silent/dangerous theme stays constant.

Since I really have nothing else to add here, let me just say that I thought it was funny that the three main Russian mobster characters were all played by non-Russians. Mortensen is a half-Danish American, Cassel is French, and Armin Mueller-Stahl is German. I'd have to ask a Russian to be sure, but it felt like they all nailed their parts. Weird.

For a more in-depth review, I direct you to the entry over at John's Movie Blog. He takes it all serious and stuff. As for me? Maybe next time.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"It's in the hole!"
And then...